26 October 2005

Thar's Cold in them thar Hills

Atlanta has gone from long lasting summer to early winter. We seem to have skipped fall completely. I was running the air conditioner three weeks ago. Two nights ago I had to fire up the furnace. The AJC reported that they closed a road in North Georgia due to flurries/icing. Next thing you know, they will be closing school because gas prices are too high! Oh, wait...nevermind. There was a thick layer of frost on my windshield this morning. This proved to be a more difficult problem than usual.

While driving home yesterday, the temperature gauge on my vehicle spiked to hot, an alarm sounded, and I began an emergency pullover. Before the echoes of the alarm tone had abated, the temperature suddenly fell to normal so I returned home. My vehicle, she is dying. It is not dying a sudden, glorious death, but is failing system by system. In the last year: external door latch breaks on passenger side making door operable only from the inside, air conditioner begins only blowing out of the defroster, driver side automatic window ceases functioning, left rear window ceases functioning, ABS light goes on, brake light goes on, check engine light goes on, emissions test fails due to previous failure, am radio ceases functioning. Today, the heat went out. I believe the heating failure must be related to yesterday's overheating problem. If she were a horse, I'd shoot her.

Cars make me tired. I have direct primary source evidence that Henry Ford was the anti-Christ.

Peace

UPDATE: The heat was on this morning! I found one of the problems myself.

24 October 2005

Monday Miscellany

The phone rang on Saturday evening. It was later than we normally received calls, and we both wondered who it might be. My wife answered it. A puzzled look appeared on her face, and she handed the phone to me and said, "I think it is a student."

I took the phone. There was a lot of giggling. A girl's voice came on and said (you have to imagine it interspersed with giggling and echoes of giggling in the background), "This is Jane Doe, I am over here at Sue Smith's house. We are playing 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire", and we get to phone a friend for a question so I am phoning a friend." She went on to ask if I would answer a question. I said that I would be glad to do so. The question was: which of the following is a type of sword? a. scimitar b. sitar c. slide d. siddhartha. I gave the correct answer (scimitar). They thanked me and hung up. I am glad they thought of me.


My son is convinced that my niece has promised him an outdoor play set for his birthday. I hope she is saving her pennies. My niece will probably be outraged and embarrassed that I mentioned her on my blog. Just wait and see what happens if he doesn't get that playset!

Speaking of my son, I took him to an incredible new East Cobb park last week. Looking around, I was impressed at how integrated the suburbs have become. My son loves to swing now. He had gone through a phase where he was afraid to swing. He is a fearful child which is typical of the first child. Now the fear is gone. He kept having me push him higher and higher until I became concerned. He shouted, "Daddy, I love swinging now. I'm not afraid anymore." It was a proud moment.

Afterward we celebrated with a spot of McDonalds in what used to be known as the "Metro McDonalds". I ordered a quarter-pounder with cheese. They gave me a double-quarter pounder with cheese. I don't know what they do different at this McDonalds, but it was the best fast food hamburger that I have ever had. I ate the entire thing while my son sat across from me telling me about his life at school and wishing upon a star. It was a good time. I love that boy.

My classes are currently studying: Bartleby the Scrivener (11th Grade) and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde (9th Grade).

Peace

22 October 2005

I Got a New Car for My Birthday! Pics!

Thursday was my birthday. A large group of seniors (twenty or so) came into my classroom at lunch and serenaded me with a very loud version of "Happy Birthday". This was very kind of them considering they are no longer my students. I miss that group.

A couple of freshmen actually went out to Target and got me a new hall/bathroom pass. In order to understand the significance of this gift, a bit of background is probably necessary. Last year I found a model of a P-38 World War II warplane at Big Lots. I bought it, unsure of what I could use if for. Ultimately, I decided to utilize it as a hall/bathroom pass. It was very popular with the students and had the unexpected affect of increasing bathroom requests. Other teachers quickly emulated my examples, and slide-rules, softballs, and other items became part of our school's hall pass tradition.

Here's the original. You can see significant battle damage: both props damaged, tail wing destroyed, right wing clipped, landing gear missing. As far as I know, a, um, water landing has never been necessary.











Later in the year, the plane found a friend. It just appeared one day in my class and became quite the school mystery for a week. The writing on both passes is identical, but I knew that I did not write anything on the Barbie car!









Look closely. My original writing is on the tape on the plane. The forgery is on the tape on the Barbie car. Can you tell a difference? No doubt, here was the work of a master forger.









Eventually, one of our talented art students confessed to the forgery, and I adopted the Barbie car as one of two choices students could take to the hall or bathroom. The Barbie pass has been surprisingly popular with the male students.

My freshmen decided it was time to upgrade my ride and got me this:












The Barbie car has been retired. Now I am a Groovy Girl! The joys of teaching know no bounds.


Peace

19 October 2005

Eating Our Seed Corn

Last night I had the privilege of attending an event at which Zell Miller was the keynote speaker. Zell was the governor of GA for eight years, senator from GA for four years, but is most famous or infamous (depending upon your point of view) for his 2004 Republican National Convention speech. Since I was a table host, I was allowed the added privilege of meeting Senator Miller and having my picture taken with him. I have now met three "celebrities" in my life. Zell Miller, Jeff_Blauser, and Steve Taylor (who probably doesn't really count, though his entry is surprisingly long). I was able to blubber something about being a history teacher who needed the picture of another great patriot to hang on my wall (Zell was also a history teacher). He is a surprisingly diminutive man (about 5'10 and quite thin), but exudes a definite presence.

His address was outstanding. Much of his address related to his new book, A Deficit of Decency. He must have been an outstanding history teacher. Miller is known for his down-home colloquialisms (he hails from Young Harris, GA), and I was eagerly anticipating them. Unfortunately, all I got was "eating our seed corn". He is a spellbinding speaker who, even though retired from politics, has a lot to say. He is a deeply spiritual man who has experienced many significant changes in his life (hence his nickname "Zig-Zag Zell). To me, he came across completely genuine, gentlemanly, and passionate. I found little in his speech that I could disagree with and much that I heartily agreed with. He represents many aspects of the South that I deeply respect and love, but that are, unfortunately, disappearing. No, I am not talking about openness, opportunity, optimism; I mean decency, patriotism, loyalty, respect, and love of family. I would vote for him.


I have now left enough personal and professional clues in my blog for anyone to find out who I am, where I live, where I work, and the names of at least one of my children. I don't know why I am hiding anyway. Only 1.3 people read this on any given day, and none of them, as far as I know, are mass murderers or tax evaders.

No pictures today.

Peace

17 October 2005

Monday Miscellany: Bland Brand and a Tag




From the city that brought you Izzy, Atlanta has a new 'brand' and logo. All of it relates to the theme of "Openness, Opportunity, Optimism." I am not sure what to say about it. There is so much material to work with here that it staggers the imagination. If this was an attempt to create a "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" kind of brand, it has fallen far short. I wonder how long it took to come up with three words that begin with "op". Opportunity and optimism are trite and dull, but okay. Openness? I suppose they had to settle for openness since tolerance does not have the proper opening letters. Overall, it seems to be the safest theme and logo tax dollars could buy. Do you find it significant that one of the key members on the board creating this thing works for Coke? For those of you who are not Atlantans, "Atl" is pronounced by saying each letter "A.T.L". Kinda like the ATF, but more violent.

Separated at birth?












I would've preferred something with some real southern flavor:
Atlanta: Whatayahave? (a la The Varsity, or What goes in your stomach, might stay in your stomach)
or techno-savvy:
Atl: Our name is easy to text message!
or maybe:
Atlanta: Better than Birmingham!
What do you think, fine readers? What would be a better brand for Atlanta?


Grammar note: I originally typed "I would of preferred" in the paragraph above. I have found it to be a common error among my students since they know can't use contractions in their formal writing. Because of the phonetics, they cannot extrapolate "would have" from "would've".

Alabama note: I visited Birmingham last January for a convention and found it, in fact, to be a lovely southern city. It has a first rate art museum and still maintains a bit of a small town feel. I would like to return and wouldn't mind moving there.


The lovely and talented Buchusa Blutterspangle tagged me. Since it is not a terribly involved tag, I saved it for my Miscellany:
1. Delve into your blog archive.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions. Ponder it for meaning, subtext or hidden agendas...
5. Tag five people to do the same.

"The entire family is 'super'."

Taken out of context, it is unclear to which family the sentence refers. The use of "entire" as a modifier of "family" is both vague and hyperbolic; does this mean every relative or only the immediate family? The quote marks around the word 'super' suggest either sarcasm or skepticism. The short sentence and simple words strongly indicate an author of limited intelligence.


Peace

16 October 2005

Guess what I got for my Birthday!






























Give up yet? Here is your only clue.

Now I have an entirely new way to bore and disappoint my readers: amateur photography! Actually, I think my wife got me the camera in the hopes that I would no longer have time for political rants if I had a new hobby. All of you can thank my wife.

Speaking of the lovely Buchusa Bluttersplangle, my wife has had an interesting night and day.

Later, I may post my son's series of artwork about superheroes. It includes images of Batman, Green Goblin, Spiderman, Spiderwoman, and Spiderdog. No, I don't know where he came up with Spiderdog, but he is orange and yellow in a piebald sort of way.


Peace

13 October 2005

Pink Eye

The little girl, a stout princess of two and a half, picked up the bottle of Orange Glo, turned the nozzle towards her precious baby blues, and pulled the trigger. The fine mist entered her eyes, nose, and mouth. Poison control advised tightly wrapping the child in a towel, laying her down in the tub, and pouring water over her eyes for five minutes. The girl has the strength of two three year olds and poison control might as well have instructed the anxious mother to insert an elephant in a thimble. Through much travail the mother prevailed. A trip to the doctor's office confirmed that the girl is just fine. Well, one wouldn't really say "just fine". Rather, one could say that she is the just the same as she was pre-Glo.

Rewind thirty years. A young boy, a stout cowboy of three or four, observes the goings-on in a bathroom shared by his parents and his older brother and sister. The sister is just old enough to begin using make-up. Finding himself alone in the bathroom while his family finishes dinner, the boy picks up a bottle, turns the cap, and pulls out a brush. The boy remembers seeing his sister use a brush like this on her eyelashes. He applies the brush to his eyelashes with eyes wide open to see the effect. The fingernail polish runs into his open eye. Years later, the family claims that the scream was so primal that they thought to find the boy dead. They wash out his eye, and he recovers to full heterosexuality.

Like father, like daughter.


Peace

UPDATE: See mom's version here.

10 October 2005

Monday Miscellany

It’s Monday again?

It try to make student assessments (tests and quizzes) interesting for my students. On my AP multiple choice questions, I would substitute one of the answers for a statement about a plot by subterranean monkeys to take over the world. My students gave me a monkey at the end of one year. A stuffed monkey. Last week, my ninth graders had a vocabulary quiz. They have to match words with definitions. I like to add a few faux definitions to make them think about it. For the word "pungent", I added this definition to the list: a young man with a fondness for word play.

Last week was homecoming week so things have been crazy at school. We have about four to five weeks every year that are useless for academic pursuits. Last week was one of them. Our students did a good job choosing homecoming court. I am, generally, opposed to the entire idea of a court. That being said, our students are supposed to select the students who best represent the spirit of our school: the earnestly seek to follow God, they work hard (though not necessarily earning "A"s, and the work to better the school. That is exactly the type of court that was elected this year. It was not a popularity contest, nor a beauty contest. The senior court is required to give speeches; students then vote on king and queen based on those speeches. This is the only part of the entire week that I enjoy. Not that the speeches are brilliant, but that I might get a shout-out. Anytime a student gives a speech, there is the off chance that they might mention a teacher in a positive light. That teacher might be me. I finally made it into the fifth of sixth speeches. One of the court was recounting fond memories that the student body has shared. She said, "...we'll remember the squeaking of a history teacher's voice during a lecture..." She didn't have to say my name, everyone knew it was me. In fairness, she made up for it later in reading a laundry list of things teachers has done for her, "I have been encouraged in Mrs. C's and Mrs. A's class, I have been inspired in Mr. Chintzibobs class..." "Inspired". I'll take that.

My wife and I have decided that we need a full-time theologian at our house. Our son is now asking about cemeteries and death. Last night he wanted to know why it stopped raining. After a pause, he pondered, "Why is God done feeding the earth?" I gotta re-read my catechism.



Peace

03 October 2005

Monday Miscellany: I Dream that I am Reading Them

My four year old boy is finally getting the yesterday, today, tomorrow thing down. He struggled with the ideas in the abstract, but is conquering the ideas when faced with concrete problems. I bought the kids some new Play-Doh. They can only paint and use the clay in the art room (my office). I introduced the kids to the new clay on Saturday. After cleaning up, my boy stated that he wanted to play with the clay later. I said, confident of his ignorance of the meaning of tomorrow, "Maybe we will play with the clay tomorrow." He marched purposely up to me on Sunday, stood beside me and stated, "Remember when it was yesterday and you said that we could play with the clay tomorrow. Its tomorrow." We played with the clay. We made sea creatures, dinosaurs, money, popsicles and directions.

An inspiring story from the LA Times about a community library in a poor Brazilian community. The library was started by one man. The man is illiterate. One of volunteer workers, who is also illiterate, is asked why she does it. She says, "I dream that I am reading them." . That library has three times as many books as the library at my school does.

I started online grad school on Saturday (while at Saturday school). It is necessary for my career. I have my doubts that it will be worth anything beyond that. I shall keep an open mind and pray that my brains don't leak out.

Spiderfall count:
Spiders spotted: 3
Spiders dispatched: 3
The good guys are winning.


Peace

01 October 2005

Achievement: Historical Significance or Trivial Pursuit

During my morning news browse yesterday, I came across an article on CNN linked as “Lawmakers call for history lessons” and titled “Schools directed to expand history curriculums” At last, I thought, politicians will be getting behind more history in high schools. But the full url is more revealing:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/EDUCATION/09/28/ethnic.courses.ap/index.html

Ethnic courses? The story concerns the creation of an "Amistad Commission" in New York State to direct schools to "teach students more about the struggles and triumphs of different races and ethnic groups". Oh. Make that "Uh-Oh". New York State is one of the big three movers and shakers in curriculum. They, along with California and Texas, have the highest populations and hence, are responsible for the bulk of textbooks orders. Textbook companies create whatever their most important clients demand.

The movement for inclusion is nothing new. In fact, it is part of a wider trend in history that has increasingly focused on the "common man" and social history. Even military history has tended in this direction with its growing literature of journals, letters, and first person narratives. Stephen Ambrose (Citizen Soldiers), John Keegan (The Face of Battle), Ronald Spector (At War at Sea), Mark Bowdan (Blackhawk Down) and Victor Davis Hanson (Hoplites: The Classical Greek Battle Experience) have all done fascinating and/or important work in this area.

The AP US History Exam has evolved over the years to reflect this change. Originally, the exam was almost solely political and diplomatic history. Now the exam breaks down as follows (from AP Central): "Political institutions and behavior and public policy account for approximately 35 percent of the questions, and social and cultural developments account for approximately another 40 percent. The remaining questions are divided between the areas of diplomacy and international relations (15 percent) and economic developments (10 percent)."

I have found the overall trend to be a major improvement in the depth of our historical understanding. It is difficult to understand why Lee was so successful if you know nothing of the fiber of the tens of thousands who served under him. Unfortunately, the trend has had some unintended and disturbing consequences. Special interest groups representing historically oppressed or abused groups have pushed for inclusion in these new social histories. In and of itself, this inclusion has been a positive thing. The addition of the history of slavery, the honest discussion of American Indian culture, the study of the growth of the idea of freedom, the exploration of the evolving role of the woman in society and the family, the understanding of the roles of family and community, the drama of the Civil Rights movement, and so many other topics have made American History a much richer and pertinent subject.

The inclusion has led to confusion between true achievement and trivia. A couple of my colleagues and I were discussing this at lunch on Wednesday. I proposed the idea that being the first to do something does not make for historical significance. I used as my example Crispus Attucks. For those you who don’t know Crispus, he was killed during the Boston Massacre. He has recently been added to history textbooks as the first black man to be killed during the American Revolution. In other words, his achievements were: being black and getting killed. There is little historical significance in this. Sure, I can discuss the roles and rights of free blacks in colonial society, but I can do this without the death of Mr. Attucks, about whom all I can really say is that he died and was black.

His inclusion has, necessarily, led to the excising of other individuals from textbooks. Generally, these people removed are white, male, and are of European descent. This has not gone on without raucous political debate. Sergeant Alvin York is no longer included in US History texts. The story of Alvin York is inspiring, thought provoking, and eminently teachable. I can discuss conscientious objectors, the role of religion in war, just war, heroism, poor white southerners, and a host of other issues through Sergeant York. Alas, he is dead to history.

The phenomenon of including the “firsts” in history books as significant has reached an extreme. Books include sidebars on the first black to do this, the first woman to this, the first Hispanic to this, and etc. Some of these are vital to understanding American history. The story of Jackie Robinson is, like Alvin York’s, inspiring, thought provoking, and eminently teachable. It is also historically significant. Being the first to do something can only be significant if there were considerable social, political, or historical forces making it difficult to accomplish that first. Otherwise it is mere trivia. The accomplishment itself must also be historically significant. Being the first three fingered, Hispanic, female to do twenty handstands in a hot air balloon over New York City does not meet the criteria. It is mere trivia.

The trivialization of the accomplishments of minorities or oppressed groups has actually served to undermine the importance of true accomplishment. Dontrelle Willis, the ace pitcher of the Florida Marlins, recently won twenty games. In baseball, this is a significant statistical accomplishment achieved by few players. It is a true achievement and a testimony to his natural abilities, hard work, and dedication to the game. The press would have you think other wise. His write up on Wikipedia mirrors the main stream media accounts of his accomplishments: “He became just the 13th African-American pitcher to win 20 games in a season, joining the "Black Aces." He was also the first African-American pitcher to win 20 games since Dave Stewart won 22 in 1990." Doesn’t this trivilize his accomplishment? Were there any social forces working against his winning twenty games because he was black?

CNN.com gives us this recent teaser for a story about the death of a Civil Rights pioneer and a true heroine of the movement as "First black woman on federal bench dies". The actual title and subtitle of the article is much more significant: "Civil rights champion Constance Baker Motley dies at 84: Justice pivotal force in landmark cases, worked tirelessly for cause". Which is more important, the trivia or the actual achievements? Which should I teach?

The discussion I was having with my colleagues closed with me proposing, without really thinking about it, that, “True achievement cannot be something that anyone could have done. Neil Armstrong being the first man to land on the moon is trivia. Any other astronaut could have done it. There was another astronaut behind him, waiting to do it. There was another one orbiting, wishing to do it. True achievement has to be something that only that person could do at that moment.”

Later, I understood my proposition's weaknesses. I think a superior understanding would be to say that true achievement cannot be simply being the first to do something. True achievement must be something that is either immensely difficult to do the first time and be worth doing, or it must be excellence in doing something that is difficult to do well and be worth doing. Jackie Robinson’s achievement meets both of these criteria. Crispus Attucks meets neither. Dontrelle Willis’ achievement meets the second and has nothing do with his race. Neil Armstrong’s meets the first one. Constance Motley’s probably meets the first, but her qualifications for the second are much more significant.

Recently, California has mandated a Cesar Chavez day for their public schools. This past summer, Philadelphia city schools added a graduation requirement: one year of black history. Soon, American history classes will consist of little but special days, weeks, months, and years, each assigned to the most powerful special interest groups. The state of history education in the United States is rotten.

My apologies if you have read this far. I have tried to supress my political rantings. When was the last time I posted on China? I like to try, even if it means failing.

Peace