What is a "Splitcat Chintzibobs?"

As I am sure most of you have figured out, "Splitcat Chintzibobs" is a nom de plume. I got the name from a book I read while in college, "The Autobiography of G.K. Chesterton." The pertinent passage comes from Chapter 8. Here it is:

It was in connection with this last line of journalistic adventure that an incident occurred of greater public, indeed of a certain historic importance. It is not only a landmark in the history of the law, but it throws a lurid light on that curious lawlessness which, in many modern matters, seems to be the principal effect of law. My sister-in-law was contributing to a Sunday paper in serial form one of these gravely, not to say brazenly, romantic romances. In this case something brazen, in the sense of something theatrical and even pantomimic, was perfectly appropriate to the theme, for the villain on whom the tale revolved was represented as a theatrical producer on a colossal scale like that of Cochran or Reinhardt. He was represented as doing various unscrupulous things, as is the humble duty of a bad man in what is only meant to be a good story; but not otherwise of any extraordinary depravity, and even adorned with something of the magnanimity suitable to melodrama. I fear I have forgotten his name; perhaps, as the sequel will prove, it is just as well. But let us suppose, for the sake of argument or narrative, that his name in the story was Arthur Mandeville. Now it so happened that there floated about somewhere in the great dust-cloud of atoms drifting round theatrical circles and occasionally or indirectly connected with theatrical or semi-theatrical enterprises, utterly unknown to anybody connected with the serial or the Sunday paper, a private individual whose name actually was Arthur Mandeville. He was not even an actor in any sense of an actor in action; he was certainly not a manager in any ordinary sense of having any theatre to manage; he was no more in any position remotely resembling that of the man in the story than he was the Sultan or the President of the United States. But he was a man who had once, in a series of other small enterprises, paid salaries to some small company of performers and given some small show somewhere. This man brought an action for heavy damages against the paper, on the ground of a malicious and vindictive blasting of his private reputation; and he won it.

The extraordinary thing was that nobody, from first to last, pretended that there had been any attack upon this man at all. The judge, in giving his judgment in the man's favour, upon the law of the matter, repeatedly declared that it had been proved up to the hilt that the lady who wrote the story had never even heard of the gentleman who she was supposed to have pursued with her envenomed darts. But the judge was none the less convinced that, as the law stood, the two coincidences of the name and of some shadowy and temporary point of contact with a similar profession, were enough to constitute a case of libel. A considerable section of the literary world awoke to this state of affairs in a condition of not unnatural alarm. It looked as if the trade of the novelist might well be classed among the dangerous trades, if he could not casually call the drunken sailor by the name of Jack Robinson, without some danger of being fined and sold up by all the Jack Robinsons who may happen to be sailing, or to have sailed, all the seas of the world. The ancient question of what should be done with the drunken sailor, if he invariably took a fancy to avenging himself legally upon anybody who should say "Jack Robinson," gave rise to some considerable literary and journalistic discussion at the time.

I remember, in the course of the controversy, that I suggested that we should have to fall back on some alternative to names, such as numbers, in describing the ringing repartees leading up to the duel in which the subtle and crafty 7991 died upon the sword of the too-impetuous 3893; or the vows breathed by the passionate lips of 771 in the ear of 707. But another way of evading the difficulty, to which I was much more attached, was that of equipping all the characters with names so extraordinary, that it was practically impossible that they could be the real names of any real people anywhere; and by way of illustration I wrote a moving love-scene between Bunchusa Blutterspangle and Splitcat Chintzibobs. Fortunately, for general journalistic convenience, my proposals were not accepted; and a much more practical proposal, invented by my sister-in-law, was carried out with complete success. She republished the whole story in book form; and before doing so went round to a number of leading literary men of the day, especially those she knew best, and obtained their permission to use their names for all the characters in the book; retaining her own name, as a graceful acknowledgment, as the name of the original villain. Anyone curious enough to look up that curiosity of literature, will find the most famous persons figuring on every other page in the humblest or most improbable capacities; a dear old stage-door keeper of the name of Bernard Shaw, a cabman known to his comrades in the cab-shelter as Barry Pain, and many others whom I forget. Some little time afterwards, I think, this extraordinary condition of the law was altered, in a typically English manner; that is, not by anything so logical and pedantic as a new law, but simply by another judge saying that the law meant the exact opposite of what the first judge had said it meant. But this queer little affair has some relevance to more real problems that arose, when we found ourselves more seriously engaged in the same strange field of modern British legalism.

Peace
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Christmas Door Decorating Contest! Veterans' Day Edition

I have had an abnormally large number of "hits" from people googling some variation of "Christmas Door Decorating Contest." Those hits have taken people to my post from last year entitled "Door Into Winter" in which I describe my first foray into decorating my classroom door. I lost that year and the next but won some kind of prize for every year after that.

In hopes that someone will find this information helpful, here are the other doors I have done.

One year a student brought in a stuffed and mounted buck's head. We put a red nose on it, mounted it on the door, and posted a statement, "1st Period US History: Doing
our part to restore the true meaning of Christmas." There was also a "hit" list of reindeer names with Rudolph's name checked off and a picture of Santa with a "no" sign through it. It was in incredibly poor taste but won for most creative. Read more about it here.

My favorite door was the last one we did (I posted about it here). It was very simple but very heartfelt and meaningful. We cut out a large, Christmas tree from green construction paper. We then hotglued (can that be used as a verb?) red and green spice drops on to the paper as ornaments. Then we stuck a toothpick in each spice drop. From each toothpick we hung a simple white ornament with a yellow ribbon tied around it and the name of a foreign country written upon it. We then posted a statement saying:

Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Christmas Tree

This year, as hundreds of thousands of US troops are deployed around the world, it is our hope that you will take a moment to pause and reflect on the sacrifices made by these brave men and women. Many of them will be putting their lives in danger throughout the Christmas season. All of them would prefer to be home with their families. Few of them will have a Silent Night. Some of them will die.

We ask that you would take one of these ornaments for your own tree at home. Each one has the name of a country where US troops are presently deployed. The yellow ribbon has not only become a symbol of the desire for all of our troops to return home safely, but will also draw the eye to this uncharacteristic color for a Christmas tree. When you see this ornament, we ask that you say a short prayer for the safety of our troops, the protection of their families, and peace to all.

We also ask that you take the time to read a sampling of letters from troops away from their homes at Christmas during the American Civil War.
Finally, we ask for a renewed dedication to the preservation of our civil liberties and our unique American heritage so that these sacrifices shall not have been in vain.

I was saddened to discover that that was to be the last year that we had a contest. I was planning on doing the same thing every year. I wish I could still do it. If you wish to use this idea, please do and let me know. I would be thrilled to see this become a tradition somewhere.

Peace

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