Finally, someone stood up to the idiotic "hand show" debate questions! At yesterday's Iowa dabate, Fred Thompson refused to raise his hand as an answer to a global warming question saying, "I'm not doing hand shows today." Hopefully, this will put that type of question forever to rest (the "hand show" question, not the global warming question). "Hand show" questions were never designed to inform voters on the complex issues confronting a president, they were carefully worded "gotchas." Maybe some seriousness can return to the debate format. If only someone had done this at the first debate...
Peace
..._
13 December 2007
03 December 2007
Monday Miscellany: Diamonds or Pearls Before Swine
My six-year-old boy got into trouble at school the other day (he's been doing that a lot lately). After talking to the teacher, his mother asked him, "Did you hit a little girl on the rear end with a ruler?" His reply, "No, she's the tallest girl in class."
Every year I give a test on which I assess student learning concerning the 1820's-1850's. Every year my students jumble the events of the Mexican War and the Texas War for Independence into an incomprehensible mash of historical nonsense. Every year I try teaching it different. I finished grading this year's test last night. It was no different. Also, note to self: make sure to explain to high school juniors that the Underground Railroad was not "like a subway."
The CNN presidential debates have been awful. It makes me embarrassed to teach US Government. I could understand MTV asking "Boxers or Briefs", but "Pearls or Diamonds?" At least we have had some good discussion topics. Most of my students recognize how inappropriate many of the questions have been. I think the YouTube debate format was insipid, but YouTube has become one of my favorite teaching tools. Need a video to demonstrate Ben Franklin's Glass Armonica?...here it is! Need Pearls or Diamonds question and answer?...here it is! Need James K. Polk by They Might be Giants?...here it is!
Peace
..._
Every year I give a test on which I assess student learning concerning the 1820's-1850's. Every year my students jumble the events of the Mexican War and the Texas War for Independence into an incomprehensible mash of historical nonsense. Every year I try teaching it different. I finished grading this year's test last night. It was no different. Also, note to self: make sure to explain to high school juniors that the Underground Railroad was not "like a subway."
The CNN presidential debates have been awful. It makes me embarrassed to teach US Government. I could understand MTV asking "Boxers or Briefs", but "Pearls or Diamonds?" At least we have had some good discussion topics. Most of my students recognize how inappropriate many of the questions have been. I think the YouTube debate format was insipid, but YouTube has become one of my favorite teaching tools. Need a video to demonstrate Ben Franklin's Glass Armonica?...here it is! Need Pearls or Diamonds question and answer?...here it is! Need James K. Polk by They Might be Giants?...here it is!
Peace
..._
13 November 2007
What is a "Splitcat Chintzibobs?"
As I am sure most of you have figured out, "Splitcat Chintzibobs" is a nom de plume. I got the name from a book I read while in college, "The Autobiography of G.K. Chesterton." The pertinent passage comes from Chapter 8. Here it is:
It was in connection with this last line of journalistic adventure that an incident occurred of greater public, indeed of a certain historic importance. It is not only a landmark in the history of the law, but it throws a lurid light on that curious lawlessness which, in many modern matters, seems to be the principal effect of law. My sister-in-law was contributing to a Sunday paper in serial form one of these gravely, not to say brazenly, romantic romances. In this case something brazen, in the sense of something theatrical and even pantomimic, was perfectly appropriate to the theme, for the villain on whom the tale revolved was represented as a theatrical producer on a colossal scale like that of Cochran or Reinhardt. He was represented as doing various unscrupulous things, as is the humble duty of a bad man in what is only meant to be a good story; but not otherwise of any extraordinary depravity, and even adorned with something of the magnanimity suitable to melodrama. I fear I have forgotten his name; perhaps, as the sequel will prove, it is just as well. But let us suppose, for the sake of argument or narrative, that his name in the story was Arthur Mandeville. Now it so happened that there floated about somewhere in the great dust-cloud of atoms drifting round theatrical circles and occasionally or indirectly connected with theatrical or semi-theatrical enterprises, utterly unknown to anybody connected with the serial or the Sunday paper, a private individual whose name actually was Arthur Mandeville. He was not even an actor in any sense of an actor in action; he was certainly not a manager in any ordinary sense of having any theatre to manage; he was no more in any position remotely resembling that of the man in the story than he was the Sultan or the President of the United States. But he was a man who had once, in a series of other small enterprises, paid salaries to some small company of performers and given some small show somewhere. This man brought an action for heavy damages against the paper, on the ground of a malicious and vindictive blasting of his private reputation; and he won it.
The extraordinary thing was that nobody, from first to last, pretended that there had been any attack upon this man at all. The judge, in giving his judgment in the man's favour, upon the law of the matter, repeatedly declared that it had been proved up to the hilt that the lady who wrote the story had never even heard of the gentleman who she was supposed to have pursued with her envenomed darts. But the judge was none the less convinced that, as the law stood, the two coincidences of the name and of some shadowy and temporary point of contact with a similar profession, were enough to constitute a case of libel. A considerable section of the literary world awoke to this state of affairs in a condition of not unnatural alarm. It looked as if the trade of the novelist might well be classed among the dangerous trades, if he could not casually call the drunken sailor by the name of Jack Robinson, without some danger of being fined and sold up by all the Jack Robinsons who may happen to be sailing, or to have sailed, all the seas of the world. The ancient question of what should be done with the drunken sailor, if he invariably took a fancy to avenging himself legally upon anybody who should say "Jack Robinson," gave rise to some considerable literary and journalistic discussion at the time.
I remember, in the course of the controversy, that I suggested that we should have to fall back on some alternative to names, such as numbers, in describing the ringing repartees leading up to the duel in which the subtle and crafty 7991 died upon the sword of the too-impetuous 3893; or the vows breathed by the passionate lips of 771 in the ear of 707. But another way of evading the difficulty, to which I was much more attached, was that of equipping all the characters with names so extraordinary, that it was practically impossible that they could be the real names of any real people anywhere; and by way of illustration I wrote a moving love-scene between Bunchusa Blutterspangle and Splitcat Chintzibobs. Fortunately, for general journalistic convenience, my proposals were not accepted; and a much more practical proposal, invented by my sister-in-law, was carried out with complete success. She republished the whole story in book form; and before doing so went round to a number of leading literary men of the day, especially those she knew best, and obtained their permission to use their names for all the characters in the book; retaining her own name, as a graceful acknowledgment, as the name of the original villain. Anyone curious enough to look up that curiosity of literature, will find the most famous persons figuring on every other page in the humblest or most improbable capacities; a dear old stage-door keeper of the name of Bernard Shaw, a cabman known to his comrades in the cab-shelter as Barry Pain, and many others whom I forget. Some little time afterwards, I think, this extraordinary condition of the law was altered, in a typically English manner; that is, not by anything so logical and pedantic as a new law, but simply by another judge saying that the law meant the exact opposite of what the first judge had said it meant. But this queer little affair has some relevance to more real problems that arose, when we found ourselves more seriously engaged in the same strange field of modern British legalism.
Peace
..._
It was in connection with this last line of journalistic adventure that an incident occurred of greater public, indeed of a certain historic importance. It is not only a landmark in the history of the law, but it throws a lurid light on that curious lawlessness which, in many modern matters, seems to be the principal effect of law. My sister-in-law was contributing to a Sunday paper in serial form one of these gravely, not to say brazenly, romantic romances. In this case something brazen, in the sense of something theatrical and even pantomimic, was perfectly appropriate to the theme, for the villain on whom the tale revolved was represented as a theatrical producer on a colossal scale like that of Cochran or Reinhardt. He was represented as doing various unscrupulous things, as is the humble duty of a bad man in what is only meant to be a good story; but not otherwise of any extraordinary depravity, and even adorned with something of the magnanimity suitable to melodrama. I fear I have forgotten his name; perhaps, as the sequel will prove, it is just as well. But let us suppose, for the sake of argument or narrative, that his name in the story was Arthur Mandeville. Now it so happened that there floated about somewhere in the great dust-cloud of atoms drifting round theatrical circles and occasionally or indirectly connected with theatrical or semi-theatrical enterprises, utterly unknown to anybody connected with the serial or the Sunday paper, a private individual whose name actually was Arthur Mandeville. He was not even an actor in any sense of an actor in action; he was certainly not a manager in any ordinary sense of having any theatre to manage; he was no more in any position remotely resembling that of the man in the story than he was the Sultan or the President of the United States. But he was a man who had once, in a series of other small enterprises, paid salaries to some small company of performers and given some small show somewhere. This man brought an action for heavy damages against the paper, on the ground of a malicious and vindictive blasting of his private reputation; and he won it.
The extraordinary thing was that nobody, from first to last, pretended that there had been any attack upon this man at all. The judge, in giving his judgment in the man's favour, upon the law of the matter, repeatedly declared that it had been proved up to the hilt that the lady who wrote the story had never even heard of the gentleman who she was supposed to have pursued with her envenomed darts. But the judge was none the less convinced that, as the law stood, the two coincidences of the name and of some shadowy and temporary point of contact with a similar profession, were enough to constitute a case of libel. A considerable section of the literary world awoke to this state of affairs in a condition of not unnatural alarm. It looked as if the trade of the novelist might well be classed among the dangerous trades, if he could not casually call the drunken sailor by the name of Jack Robinson, without some danger of being fined and sold up by all the Jack Robinsons who may happen to be sailing, or to have sailed, all the seas of the world. The ancient question of what should be done with the drunken sailor, if he invariably took a fancy to avenging himself legally upon anybody who should say "Jack Robinson," gave rise to some considerable literary and journalistic discussion at the time.
I remember, in the course of the controversy, that I suggested that we should have to fall back on some alternative to names, such as numbers, in describing the ringing repartees leading up to the duel in which the subtle and crafty 7991 died upon the sword of the too-impetuous 3893; or the vows breathed by the passionate lips of 771 in the ear of 707. But another way of evading the difficulty, to which I was much more attached, was that of equipping all the characters with names so extraordinary, that it was practically impossible that they could be the real names of any real people anywhere; and by way of illustration I wrote a moving love-scene between Bunchusa Blutterspangle and Splitcat Chintzibobs. Fortunately, for general journalistic convenience, my proposals were not accepted; and a much more practical proposal, invented by my sister-in-law, was carried out with complete success. She republished the whole story in book form; and before doing so went round to a number of leading literary men of the day, especially those she knew best, and obtained their permission to use their names for all the characters in the book; retaining her own name, as a graceful acknowledgment, as the name of the original villain. Anyone curious enough to look up that curiosity of literature, will find the most famous persons figuring on every other page in the humblest or most improbable capacities; a dear old stage-door keeper of the name of Bernard Shaw, a cabman known to his comrades in the cab-shelter as Barry Pain, and many others whom I forget. Some little time afterwards, I think, this extraordinary condition of the law was altered, in a typically English manner; that is, not by anything so logical and pedantic as a new law, but simply by another judge saying that the law meant the exact opposite of what the first judge had said it meant. But this queer little affair has some relevance to more real problems that arose, when we found ourselves more seriously engaged in the same strange field of modern British legalism.
Peace
..._
12 November 2007
Christmas Door Decorating Contest! Veterans' Day Edition
I have had an abnormally large number of "hits" from people googling some variation of "Christmas Door Decorating Contest." Those hits have taken people to my post from last year entitled "Door Into Winter" in which I describe my first foray into decorating my classroom door. I lost that year and the next but won some kind of prize for every year after that.
In hopes that someone will find this information helpful, here are the other doors I have done.
One year a student brought in a stuffed and mounted buck's head. We put a red nose on it, mounted it on the door, and posted a statement, "1st Period US History: Doing
our part to restore the true meaning of Christmas." There was also a "hit" list of reindeer names with Rudolph's name checked off and a picture of Santa with a "no" sign through it. It was in incredibly poor taste but won for most creative. Read more about it here.
My favorite door was the last one we did (I posted about it here). It was very simple but very heartfelt and meaningful. We cut out a large, Christmas tree from green construction paper. We then hotglued (can that be used as a verb?) red and green spice drops on to the paper as ornaments. Then we stuck a toothpick in each spice drop. From each toothpick we hung a simple white ornament with a yellow ribbon tied around it and the name of a foreign country written upon it. We then posted a statement saying:
This year, as hundreds of thousands of US troops are deployed around the world, it is our hope that you will take a moment to pause and reflect on the sacrifices made by these brave men and women. Many of them will be putting their lives in danger throughout the Christmas season. All of them would prefer to be home with their families. Few of them will have a Silent Night. Some of them will die.
We ask that you would take one of these ornaments for your own tree at home. Each one has the name of a country where US troops are presently deployed. The yellow ribbon has not only become a symbol of the desire for all of our troops to return home safely, but will also draw the eye to this uncharacteristic color for a Christmas tree. When you see this ornament, we ask that you say a short prayer for the safety of our troops, the protection of their families, and peace to all.
We also ask that you take the time to read a sampling of letters from troops away from their homes at Christmas during the American Civil War.
Finally, we ask for a renewed dedication to the preservation of our civil liberties and our unique American heritage so that these sacrifices shall not have been in vain.
In hopes that someone will find this information helpful, here are the other doors I have done.
One year a student brought in a stuffed and mounted buck's head. We put a red nose on it, mounted it on the door, and posted a statement, "1st Period US History: Doing
our part to restore the true meaning of Christmas." There was also a "hit" list of reindeer names with Rudolph's name checked off and a picture of Santa with a "no" sign through it. It was in incredibly poor taste but won for most creative. Read more about it here.
My favorite door was the last one we did (I posted about it here). It was very simple but very heartfelt and meaningful. We cut out a large, Christmas tree from green construction paper. We then hotglued (can that be used as a verb?) red and green spice drops on to the paper as ornaments. Then we stuck a toothpick in each spice drop. From each toothpick we hung a simple white ornament with a yellow ribbon tied around it and the name of a foreign country written upon it. We then posted a statement saying:
Tie a Yellow Ribbon ‘Round the Christmas Tree
This year, as hundreds of thousands of US troops are deployed around the world, it is our hope that you will take a moment to pause and reflect on the sacrifices made by these brave men and women. Many of them will be putting their lives in danger throughout the Christmas season. All of them would prefer to be home with their families. Few of them will have a Silent Night. Some of them will die.
We ask that you would take one of these ornaments for your own tree at home. Each one has the name of a country where US troops are presently deployed. The yellow ribbon has not only become a symbol of the desire for all of our troops to return home safely, but will also draw the eye to this uncharacteristic color for a Christmas tree. When you see this ornament, we ask that you say a short prayer for the safety of our troops, the protection of their families, and peace to all.
We also ask that you take the time to read a sampling of letters from troops away from their homes at Christmas during the American Civil War.
Finally, we ask for a renewed dedication to the preservation of our civil liberties and our unique American heritage so that these sacrifices shall not have been in vain.
I was saddened to discover that that was to be the last year that we had a contest. I was planning on doing the same thing every year. I wish I could still do it. If you wish to use this idea, please do and let me know. I would be thrilled to see this become a tradition somewhere.
Peace
..._
31 October 2007
Fun and Pumpkicide
The entire western half of the neighborhood must have heard the cry of anguish, "Why did they do it?" The six-year-old in a pirate suit had just returned with a large haul of sugary booty from a harvest festival at a local church. Everyone had been generous, kind, and patient at the festival, and now he had come home to find his and his sister's carved jack-o-lanterns cast down and crushed by the front door. His cyclopean beast was cracked in half and upside down. His parent's explanations that people are sometimes simply cruel left him befuddled and as crushed as his creation. A misguided offer by one parent to keep them inside next year was met with the boy's exasperated but wise, "But then no one will see it. Maybe we can put them in something to keep them safe. We can use superglue."
An offer of some candy distracted him temporarily from the tragedy, but the lesson will be there. The world is cruel, and it is safer inside. One can only hope that despite this incident, he will always remain brave enough to offer his work where others might see it.
Peace
..._
23 October 2007
We've Got Spirit, How 'Bout You?
As student government sponsor, I have the privilege of planning the homecoming dance for our school, so for the past few weeks I have been swamped with preparations for the dance. The dance was held last Saturday, went very well, and now I have my life back. I don't get paid any extra for this part of my job though I will be asking for more next year.
Two Fridays ago was our game against our arch-rivals, my former school. I was obligated to go and took the two eldest children. It was a beautiful evening, but my former school was too much for my new one. By halftime the game was becoming a blowout. Just before halftime some of my former students found their way over to our sidelines and said hello. This was met by icy stares from my current students.
One of my former students asked me if I had seen the sign. "What sign?" I asked. The one that some of my former students were holding up saying, "Give us Mr. Chintzibobs back!" I laughed and told them to get back to their side of the field before they got me into trouble.
They left, but others showed up. That's when I heard a cheer I had never heard before and shall probably never hear again. Our cheerleaders were shouting out as loud as they could, "We've got Chintzibobs...We've got Chintzibobs." The student section picked it up and joined in. Then they tried to get me to come down to the sideline to show me off like some kind of trophy. Luckily for me, I the two kids with me and couldn't leave them behind.
When I got home and told my wife about it, she laughed at me and said, "I'll bet you never thought that cheerleaders would be chanting your name."
I guess all of your best moments don't necessarily happen in high school.
Peace
..._
Two Fridays ago was our game against our arch-rivals, my former school. I was obligated to go and took the two eldest children. It was a beautiful evening, but my former school was too much for my new one. By halftime the game was becoming a blowout. Just before halftime some of my former students found their way over to our sidelines and said hello. This was met by icy stares from my current students.
One of my former students asked me if I had seen the sign. "What sign?" I asked. The one that some of my former students were holding up saying, "Give us Mr. Chintzibobs back!" I laughed and told them to get back to their side of the field before they got me into trouble.
They left, but others showed up. That's when I heard a cheer I had never heard before and shall probably never hear again. Our cheerleaders were shouting out as loud as they could, "We've got Chintzibobs...We've got Chintzibobs." The student section picked it up and joined in. Then they tried to get me to come down to the sideline to show me off like some kind of trophy. Luckily for me, I the two kids with me and couldn't leave them behind.
When I got home and told my wife about it, she laughed at me and said, "I'll bet you never thought that cheerleaders would be chanting your name."
I guess all of your best moments don't necessarily happen in high school.
Peace
..._
29 September 2007
Carnival of Georgia Bloggers
The 19th carnival of Georgia Bloggers is up at Georgia on My Mind. Read and enjoy.
I've been on a school retreat this week. I had a cabin full of freshmen. I caught them drinking energy drinks at midnight. It was a long night, but overall the retreat was a fun experience. The facility is a gorgeous camp nestled in a cove near Jaspar, GA.
Peace
..._
I've been on a school retreat this week. I had a cabin full of freshmen. I caught them drinking energy drinks at midnight. It was a long night, but overall the retreat was a fun experience. The facility is a gorgeous camp nestled in a cove near Jaspar, GA.
Peace..._
16 September 2007
12th Anniversary Trip
Today is our 12th Anniversary. If someone had told me on that rainy September evening twelve years ago what our lives would be like now, I am sure I wouldn't have believed it. To be more accurate, I am sure I couldn't have conceived it. I used to be limited to thinking only about a month ahead. Now I alternate between thinking a meal ahead and twenty years in the future while trying to concentrate on enjoying every moment that I can. We have been immensely blessed, and I am sure that I still cannot conceive of what the next years may hold or what life will look like in twelve years, but I am certain that my wife shall still be by my side, and I shall be by hers.
We celebrated our anniversary with an exciting trip to the park. It was a lovely early fall day: windy, humid, and alternately too warm and too cool. We had a splendid time.
We celebrated our anniversary with an exciting trip to the park. It was a lovely early fall day: windy, humid, and alternately too warm and too cool. We had a splendid time.
Photo Caption: Someday this will all be mine
Peace
..._
10 September 2007
Things They Don't Teach You in Teacher School: #4-6
4. Someone will always ask for the answer of a question that you just answered. At any given time you will be lucky if one-third of the students are actually listening.
Example:
Teacher: Chapter one will be on the test. Any questions?
Student: Will chapter one be on the test?
5. Many students can send a text-message without ever taking their phone out of their pocket.
6. There are 180 days on the calendar. You might get to actually use about 160 of them. You will lose days for: the day before a major holiday (just forget about it), altered schedules, half-days, field days, field trips, early dismissals for sports, special "assemblies", testing, festivals, retreats, and many other creative ways that schools have of counting something as a school day without any actual instruction going on.
Peace
..._
Example:
Teacher: Chapter one will be on the test. Any questions?
Student: Will chapter one be on the test?
5. Many students can send a text-message without ever taking their phone out of their pocket.
6. There are 180 days on the calendar. You might get to actually use about 160 of them. You will lose days for: the day before a major holiday (just forget about it), altered schedules, half-days, field days, field trips, early dismissals for sports, special "assemblies", testing, festivals, retreats, and many other creative ways that schools have of counting something as a school day without any actual instruction going on.
Peace
..._
05 September 2007
Things They Don't Teach You In Teacher School: #1-3
In no particular order:
#1 On many days, you are the only one in your class that wants to be there. For all of the rest of the days, even you don't want to be there.
#2 Some students have an endless supply of grandparents; they tend to die or get rushed to the hospital around major tests and projects.
#3 Biology 101: Students trying to put on muscle consume a lot of protein. Over-consumption of protein can create digestive distress. There will be parts of your classroom that you will learn to avoid. Many students are not nearly as embarrassed by their exhaust fumes as they should be; to some it is an immense source of pride.
Peace
..._
#1 On many days, you are the only one in your class that wants to be there. For all of the rest of the days, even you don't want to be there.
#2 Some students have an endless supply of grandparents; they tend to die or get rushed to the hospital around major tests and projects.
#3 Biology 101: Students trying to put on muscle consume a lot of protein. Over-consumption of protein can create digestive distress. There will be parts of your classroom that you will learn to avoid. Many students are not nearly as embarrassed by their exhaust fumes as they should be; to some it is an immense source of pride.
Peace
..._
02 September 2007
27 August 2007
Monday Miscellany: Reading, Lechery, and Treason
My eldest son (now six) needed speech therapy when he was younger. We worried about his lack of vocabulary, trouble with pronunciation, and difficulty constructing sentences. The county agreed with us. Like most parents, we fretted about our first child's lack of communication skills. After a year of preschool speech therapy, he had improved immensely (though he rarely talked with his tutor). After last year's kindergarten, he had made great strides and had learned to read. To our great joy he has become a lover of reading. At open house this year, his teacher suggested downloading the first grade sight words and making flashcards out of them. So I did. He knew them all. So I downloaded the 2nd grade sight words. He knew them all. So I downloaded the 3rd grade sight words. He knew them all. He wants me to download the 4th grade sight words, but there aren't any. I had a nightmare last night that he was almost as tall as his momma. I guess he can slow down a little.
Here is some of his folk art from last year. I laugh each time I notice the belt. Now I just worry that there is lead in these toys.
Last week was my new school's open house. Parents come and go through their child's schedule; each class lasts ten minutes. The teachers are supposed to introduce themselves and hit the highlights of their courses. I have now done a lot of these events. They are long and exhausting (coming at the end of a normal school day--I was at school on that day from 6:30am to 9:30pm). I have also perfected a few of my punch lines (it puts the both the parents and me at ease). One relates to my alma mater. I graduated from Georgia Southern University I tell them. And no, it is not true that the transcript includes a place for B.A.C. instead of G.P.A.
I have never felt that I can just say where I graduated from and leave it at that. I have to acknowledge that elephant in the room: GSU has a reputation as a major party school. Students who don't make it into UGA often end up at GSU. I teach at a Christian school and don't want the parents to assume that I am one of "those." So I usually go on to explain that all colleges are party schools and that students will find whatever they are looking for in college. Every college (even the tiniest of Christian colleges hidden away in the mountains) has those who double major in drunkenness and debauchery. College is frequently one of the first extended character tests that young people face. I typically teach juniors and seniors, and these observations seem to both worry and reassure the parents. They are reassured that their child's teacher was not a partier, but they worry that their child will soon become one.
A political note on the Iraq war: At one point the Democratic talking point was simply, "Bush lied; people died." The Republican talking point was simply, "Dems want to cut and run." There was and continues to be no substantive debate concerning the war. The political discourse is currently more of a quagmire than Iraq is. The problem with both of these slogans is that both are merely attacks on the opposition as opposed to plans for a way forward. Both sides claim that attacking one's patriotism is verboten, but I say that any politician that puts political gain before country is acting in an unseemly and unpatriotic manner.
Peace
..._
Here is some of his folk art from last year. I laugh each time I notice the belt. Now I just worry that there is lead in these toys.
Last week was my new school's open house. Parents come and go through their child's schedule; each class lasts ten minutes. The teachers are supposed to introduce themselves and hit the highlights of their courses. I have now done a lot of these events. They are long and exhausting (coming at the end of a normal school day--I was at school on that day from 6:30am to 9:30pm). I have also perfected a few of my punch lines (it puts the both the parents and me at ease). One relates to my alma mater. I graduated from Georgia Southern University I tell them. And no, it is not true that the transcript includes a place for B.A.C. instead of G.P.A.
I have never felt that I can just say where I graduated from and leave it at that. I have to acknowledge that elephant in the room: GSU has a reputation as a major party school. Students who don't make it into UGA often end up at GSU. I teach at a Christian school and don't want the parents to assume that I am one of "those." So I usually go on to explain that all colleges are party schools and that students will find whatever they are looking for in college. Every college (even the tiniest of Christian colleges hidden away in the mountains) has those who double major in drunkenness and debauchery. College is frequently one of the first extended character tests that young people face. I typically teach juniors and seniors, and these observations seem to both worry and reassure the parents. They are reassured that their child's teacher was not a partier, but they worry that their child will soon become one.
A political note on the Iraq war: At one point the Democratic talking point was simply, "Bush lied; people died." The Republican talking point was simply, "Dems want to cut and run." There was and continues to be no substantive debate concerning the war. The political discourse is currently more of a quagmire than Iraq is. The problem with both of these slogans is that both are merely attacks on the opposition as opposed to plans for a way forward. Both sides claim that attacking one's patriotism is verboten, but I say that any politician that puts political gain before country is acting in an unseemly and unpatriotic manner.
Peace
..._
20 August 2007
"A" is for...?
Schools these days are less and less likely to be named for historical figures, but on May 23 the school board of Ogden, Utah approved naming a new elementary school: James A. Madison Elementary School. Trouble is, James Madison didn't have an "A" for his middle initial. He didn't even have a middle name to be initialized. A history teacher pointed out the error before the school's sign was completed.
The full story is here.
Peace
..._
The full story is here.
Peace
..._
19 August 2007
Monday Miscellany: In with the New!
The ancient Greeks would look to nature for signs before the beginning of an enterprise great or small. The flight of a bird could portend greatness or warn of coming disaster. Before dawn on the morning of the first day at my new school, I opened the front door of my house to begin my commute. I felt something bump into my shoulder and then into my head as I began to step out through the door. I jumped back to see a plump arachnid spinning only inches from my eyes. This was the very worst of omens, if not for the ancient Greeks at least for this modern American. You can read about my earlier experiences with what I term "Spiderfall" here.
Later that day I introduced myself to my classes. My new school is the main rival of my old school, and I knew I had to get the fact that I was coming from their cross-town rival out and over with as quickly as possible. I revealed my dark secret in different ways to my five different classes. In one class I said, "For the past six years I have been teaching at another local private school," when a girl exclaimed, "As long as it isn't [the name of my old school]."
In truth, it was a pretty good week. While my move to a new school has been mostly a horizontal move, there is much more vertical potential, and the leadership is much more gifted in, well, leadership. I also get a new benefit: free hot lunches. I was, at first, skeptical of the value of this benefit, but the first week's menu has me excited to go to work everyday if not for the students at least for the food. There is always a salad bar, sandwich bar, hot soup, choice of Mayfield frozen treats, and two entrees. By Tuesday's Blackened Flounder with Rice Pilaf, I was happy I made my move. I think this a job in which I can really grow.
We went to a local mega-church Sunday. My wife and kids have been before, but today was my first day. It is a huge institution. It takes some time to get everyone where they belong. Everyone was very nice and the twenty-minute Sunday school lesson was good. But on the way out, I realized that we had spent at least twice as much time walking around, signing the kids into things, and picking the kids up from things than we did learning about the Word of God. I have trouble getting past the fact that there is valet parking for pre-school.
My son just came downstairs to let me know that he had just finished reading the Bible. He has been working on a Toddler Bible for the past three days. It has a picture and one or two sentences per page. There are over 400 pages.
Peace
..._
Later that day I introduced myself to my classes. My new school is the main rival of my old school, and I knew I had to get the fact that I was coming from their cross-town rival out and over with as quickly as possible. I revealed my dark secret in different ways to my five different classes. In one class I said, "For the past six years I have been teaching at another local private school," when a girl exclaimed, "As long as it isn't [the name of my old school]."
In truth, it was a pretty good week. While my move to a new school has been mostly a horizontal move, there is much more vertical potential, and the leadership is much more gifted in, well, leadership. I also get a new benefit: free hot lunches. I was, at first, skeptical of the value of this benefit, but the first week's menu has me excited to go to work everyday if not for the students at least for the food. There is always a salad bar, sandwich bar, hot soup, choice of Mayfield frozen treats, and two entrees. By Tuesday's Blackened Flounder with Rice Pilaf, I was happy I made my move. I think this a job in which I can really grow.
We went to a local mega-church Sunday. My wife and kids have been before, but today was my first day. It is a huge institution. It takes some time to get everyone where they belong. Everyone was very nice and the twenty-minute Sunday school lesson was good. But on the way out, I realized that we had spent at least twice as much time walking around, signing the kids into things, and picking the kids up from things than we did learning about the Word of God. I have trouble getting past the fact that there is valet parking for pre-school.
My son just came downstairs to let me know that he had just finished reading the Bible. He has been working on a Toddler Bible for the past three days. It has a picture and one or two sentences per page. There are over 400 pages.
Peace
..._
15 August 2007
The Twins Turn One
Are they really related?
W takes his first bite of a cupcake.
M tries to eat the entire cupcake in one bite.
Here is who they are at one year old:
W (the first born)
Dark complexion, dark hair
One wild curl behind his right ear
Eats anything
Strong and wiry
Climbs everything
An escape artist
Blue-eyed
Throws himself into everything
Goes over things instead of around them
Has begun to put a toy to his ear as though it is a phone
Has taken a few tentative steps
Has started to get his leg stuck in his crib
Loves TV
Enjoys making noise
Impresses the family with pull ups on the pack & play
Prefers to hop
Laughs easily and quickly
Ticklish all over
M (the second born)
Light, pale complexion
Very light brown, thin hair
Picky, demanding, and voracious eater
A gentle giant
Sees no reason to escape
Blue-eyed
Studies things before deciding to touch
Goes around things
Has learned to wave this week
Has taken a few tentative steps
Makes some really entertaining attempts at clapping
Loves his momma
Prefers to sway
Only ticklish in the right places at the right time
VIDEO and my wife's commentary here.
Peace
..._
14 August 2007
The Fyring Therof!
Today was the first full day of teaching at my new school. I used the Smart Board in each of my five classes, and I think I will find it a big help. While doing some research for my AP US History class, I came across the full text of The Book of the General Lawes and Libertyes Concerning the Inhabitants of the Massachusets (1648). It was a document that put legal rights and responsibilities in alphabetical order from "actions" to "torture." It provides an illuminating glimpse of early Puritan Massachusetts. Shuffleboard and Anabaptists were banned. I was surprised to see that the wrangling over public smoking goes back so far in American history though the primary worry of the Puritans seems more practical than moral:
Tobacco.
This Court finding that since the repealing of the former Laws against Tobacco, the same is more abused then before doth therfore order,
That no man shall take any tobacco within twenty poles of any house, or so neer as may indanger the same, or neer any Barn, corn, or hay-cock as may occasion the fyring therof, upon pain of ten shillings for everie such offence, besides full recompence of all damages done by means therof. Nor shall any take tobacco in any Inne or common Victualing-house, except in a private room there, so as neither the Master of the said house nor any other Guests there shall take offence therat, which if any doe, then such person shall forthwith forbear, upon pain of two shillings sixpence for everie such offence. And for all Fines incurred by this Law, one half part shall be to the Informer the other to the poor of the town where the offence is done.
Peace
..._
Tobacco.
This Court finding that since the repealing of the former Laws against Tobacco, the same is more abused then before doth therfore order,
That no man shall take any tobacco within twenty poles of any house, or so neer as may indanger the same, or neer any Barn, corn, or hay-cock as may occasion the fyring therof, upon pain of ten shillings for everie such offence, besides full recompence of all damages done by means therof. Nor shall any take tobacco in any Inne or common Victualing-house, except in a private room there, so as neither the Master of the said house nor any other Guests there shall take offence therat, which if any doe, then such person shall forthwith forbear, upon pain of two shillings sixpence for everie such offence. And for all Fines incurred by this Law, one half part shall be to the Informer the other to the poor of the town where the offence is done.
Peace
..._
01 August 2007
Beach Boys
I am back from the beach while the rest of the family stays until Saturday. There is a lot to tell, but I have to be up early for pre-planning so here are a few pictures. It was the first time at the beach for the twins and my four-year-old daughter.
Above: First Wave
Below: Asleep in the Gulf
Above: Loving the Sand
Below: Loving the Water
Above: Cautious Boy
Below: At the National Museum for Naval Aviation
More over at Flickr.
Peace
..._
Above: First Wave
Below: Asleep in the Gulf
Above: Loving the Sand
Below: Loving the Water
Above: Cautious Boy
Below: At the National Museum for Naval Aviation
More over at Flickr.
Peace
..._
28 July 2007
Pre-Planning Miscellany
School starts on August 13 at my new school. Since I am new there, I have to report on August 2 for two days of new faculty orientation. I have a lot to do between now and then so, naturally, I am going to the beach for a few days. I received my preliminary class rosters today, and if things stay the same, I will only have 47 students in my five classes (public school teachers typically have between 100-150). I can live with that grading load, but my Civil War class only has two students and my AP US history class has only five. I find that anything less than twelve makes for a challenging dynamic. Students tend to either get way too self-conscious or too comfortable in a small class. Our pre-planning schedule looks to be quite rigorous. My main complaint with my pre-planning experiences of late is that they mostly involve sitting for hours listening to someone else talk (a lot like what our students have to go through everyday) and very little "planning." In the past few years I have noticed that teachers (myself included) are the massive whiners and complainers. We also tend to be obnoxious know-it-alls (myself included). I have committed to being more positive this year.
I got my AP scores a few weeks ago: My AP US class got seven 5's (the highest possible score) out of sixteen students (44%). I am very pleased with that. One of my students sent me a postcard from Scotland where he is attending a Scottish history program at St Andrews to thank me (he got a five). Technically, he wrote, "I got a 5 woo-hoo." In light of my new commitment to positivity, I would rather not discuss the results of my AP European class.
We are going to Pensacola tomorrow so there will probably be no posts until Wednesday. I have three books I need to read by Thursday.
Peace
..._
I got my AP scores a few weeks ago: My AP US class got seven 5's (the highest possible score) out of sixteen students (44%). I am very pleased with that. One of my students sent me a postcard from Scotland where he is attending a Scottish history program at St Andrews to thank me (he got a five). Technically, he wrote, "I got a 5 woo-hoo." In light of my new commitment to positivity, I would rather not discuss the results of my AP European class.
We are going to Pensacola tomorrow so there will probably be no posts until Wednesday. I have three books I need to read by Thursday.
Peace
..._
27 July 2007
Kennesaw Mountain, GA, continued
Yesterday, I reported some ads from the April 27, 1861 edition of Harper's Weekly. The ads were of some basic categories: healing balms, offers for selling agents, pianos, clothing, and a couple of items that reflected the national crisis: an illustrated guide to national leaders and some military/tactical handbooks. Today I give you some ads from the July 23, 1864 edition of Harper's Weekly. By the way, copies of all editions of Harper's Weekly can be acquired through the Alexander Street Press and Harpweek.com has a number of online themed selections.
Notice that while many ads are similar to the 1861 ads, there is a distinct change in content of the advertising. Only two of the twenty-eight ads in 1861 edition have any connection to the crisis of Union, while nineteen of fifty-five of the ads in the 1864 edition can be connected to the Civil War. The significant jump in number of ads is also of interest. My comment are in italics.
FISK & HATCH,
Bankers and Dealers in Government Securities.
No. 38 Wall Street, New York.
There a two other ads similar to this. Most of the war was paid for by through government borrowing, creating a vast market for government securities. However, borrowing was not enough and the 1862 Revenue Act created our first income tax and the Office of Internal Revenue.
PRESIDENTIAL
Campaign Medals.
Of every description now read in Pin and Medal. Trade orders solicited and promptly filled at Factory prices. Wholesale Depot Campaign Medal Co., 436 Broadway, N.Y.
Several similar ads including one for Fremont medals: Free Speech, Free Press, Fremont. 1864 was a presidential election year. Fremont was a radical Republican who considered as a challenger for the Republican nomination in 1864. Sherman's capture of Atlanta will play a key role in Lincoln's re-election against his former general, the Democratic George B. McClellan. This edition of Harper's Weekly contains a short piece on the assault on Kennesaw Mountain, one of many battles in the long Atlanta campaign.
Good News for the Army.
Hereafter we will send, post-paid, any of our PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS ordered by soldiers for themselves or friends, giving an Album of the full money of the money sent.
Our Albums have the reputation of being superior to all others in beauty and durability, and range in price from 50 cts. to $50.
Our catalogue of CARD PHOTOGRAPHS now embraces about 5000 officers, army and navy, statesmen, actors, copies of works of art, &c. Catalogue sent on receipt of stamps.
Stereoscopes and Stereoscopic Views.
Our assortment of these is very extensive, including a great variety of views of the present war.
Catalogue sent on receipt of stamp.
E.&H. T. ANTONY & Co,
501 Broadway, New York.
Manufacturers of Photographic Materials.
Photography was a booming business during the Civil War, and the war was our first to be photographed. Soldiers would frequently pose for a formal photograph before reporting for duty. Cards of leaders were also quite popular. Stereoscopic images created a three-dimensional effect when used with a viewer. I have a few reproductions that I show my students.
Metallic Artificial Legs.
Weight only Four Pounds.
A fit guaranteed. It makes no noise. It does not get out of order. The measure can be sent, and the leg returned by express. If you are not satisfied after six months' trial, I will return the money less twenty-five dollars.
Price $75 to $100. Send for a circular.
Office and Salesroom 491 Broadway, New York.
J.W. WESTON
E. WESTON, 21 West 4th Street, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Sadly, ads like these became increasingly common during the war. The high number of battlefield amputations led to a booming business the manufacture and sale of prosthetics.
AGENTS WANTED.--$50 per month guaranteed. For terms and specimens, address, with stamp, L.L. TODD & CO., New York.
GUN-POWDER
SMITH & RAND, Manufactures of ORANGE RIFLE and ORANGE LIGHTNING Powder, of superior strength and cleanness.
Office, 170 Broadway, New York.
Soldiers, especially officers, often times purchased their own battlefield supplies. Many times the products ended up being worthless and were cast aside during long marches.
DIARRHOEA.
DYSENTARY, CHOLERA, CHOLERA
MORBUS, &c.--Certain and immediate cure. HEGEMAN & CO.'s celebrated Diarrhoea Remedy has been used with unfailing success since the Cholera season of 1832. A single dose will usually check the diarrhoea in a few hours. Prepared only by HEGEMAN & CO., Chemists and Druggists, New York. Sold by all the principal Druggists in the United States.
Disease killed more soldiers during the Civil War than did battle inflicted wounds. This was standard for wars before the 20th century. The drug claims to heal three of the most common of deadly camp diseases.
Remington's
ARMY AND NAVY
REVOLVER.
Approved by the Government.
Warranted superior to any other Pistol of the kind. Also Pocket and Belt Revolvers. Sold by the Trade generally.
E. REMINGTON & SONS,
Ilion, N.Y.
Officers were expected to purchase their own sidearms and swords.
U.S. Gov. Artificial Leg Depots,
658 Broadway, N.Y., Rochester, N.Y. Chicago, Ill., Cincinnati, O., and St. Louis, Mo., where the Government furnishes the U.S. Army and Navy Leg to Soldiers gratis, or its value applied on the Anatomical Ball and Socket-Jointed Leg, which has lateral motion at the ankle like the natural one.
DOUGLAS BLY, M.D., U.S. Commissioner. For instructions address DR. Bly, at nearest Depot.
The demand must be quite high for the government to create five depots.
DO YOU WANT LUXURIANT
WHISKERS OR MUSTACHES?--My Onguent will force them to grow heavily in six weeks (upon the smoothest face) without stain or injury the skin. Price $1--sent by mail, post free, to any address, on receipt of an order.
R.G. GRAHAM, No. 109 Nassau Street, N.Y.
There are at least three more along the same lines.
SOMETHING NEW
IN PLAYING CARDS.
LOVE SCENES.
DESIGNS from FRENCH ARTISTS.
The above new Card has fifty-two beautiful pictures, of elegant design, and they can also be used the same as ordinary playing cards, thus combining pleasure with amusement. Enclose 50 cents and two red stamps, and send for sample pack. $5 per dozen. Liberal discount by gross to dealers. H.A. CASWELL, 60 Nassau St., New York.
One of my favorite ads. It speaks for itself.
I could teach much of the Civil War through these ads.
I saw a lot more wildlife at Kennesaw Mountain than I expected. I took all of the following from the trail.
These butterflies were everywhere, but they wouldn't sit still for a good shot.
Notice that while many ads are similar to the 1861 ads, there is a distinct change in content of the advertising. Only two of the twenty-eight ads in 1861 edition have any connection to the crisis of Union, while nineteen of fifty-five of the ads in the 1864 edition can be connected to the Civil War. The significant jump in number of ads is also of interest. My comment are in italics.
FISK & HATCH,
Bankers and Dealers in Government Securities.
No. 38 Wall Street, New York.
There a two other ads similar to this. Most of the war was paid for by through government borrowing, creating a vast market for government securities. However, borrowing was not enough and the 1862 Revenue Act created our first income tax and the Office of Internal Revenue.
PRESIDENTIAL
Campaign Medals.
Of every description now read in Pin and Medal. Trade orders solicited and promptly filled at Factory prices. Wholesale Depot Campaign Medal Co., 436 Broadway, N.Y.
Several similar ads including one for Fremont medals: Free Speech, Free Press, Fremont. 1864 was a presidential election year. Fremont was a radical Republican who considered as a challenger for the Republican nomination in 1864. Sherman's capture of Atlanta will play a key role in Lincoln's re-election against his former general, the Democratic George B. McClellan. This edition of Harper's Weekly contains a short piece on the assault on Kennesaw Mountain, one of many battles in the long Atlanta campaign.
Good News for the Army.
Hereafter we will send, post-paid, any of our PHOTOGRAPHIC ALBUMS ordered by soldiers for themselves or friends, giving an Album of the full money of the money sent.
Our Albums have the reputation of being superior to all others in beauty and durability, and range in price from 50 cts. to $50.
Our catalogue of CARD PHOTOGRAPHS now embraces about 5000 officers, army and navy, statesmen, actors, copies of works of art, &c. Catalogue sent on receipt of stamps.
Stereoscopes and Stereoscopic Views.
Our assortment of these is very extensive, including a great variety of views of the present war.
Catalogue sent on receipt of stamp.
E.&H. T. ANTONY & Co,
501 Broadway, New York.
Manufacturers of Photographic Materials.
Photography was a booming business during the Civil War, and the war was our first to be photographed. Soldiers would frequently pose for a formal photograph before reporting for duty. Cards of leaders were also quite popular. Stereoscopic images created a three-dimensional effect when used with a viewer. I have a few reproductions that I show my students.
Metallic Artificial Legs.
Weight only Four Pounds.
A fit guaranteed. It makes no noise. It does not get out of order. The measure can be sent, and the leg returned by express. If you are not satisfied after six months' trial, I will return the money less twenty-five dollars.
Price $75 to $100. Send for a circular.
Office and Salesroom 491 Broadway, New York.
J.W. WESTON
E. WESTON, 21 West 4th Street, Cincinnati, Ohio.
Sadly, ads like these became increasingly common during the war. The high number of battlefield amputations led to a booming business the manufacture and sale of prosthetics.
AGENTS WANTED.--$50 per month guaranteed. For terms and specimens, address, with stamp, L.L. TODD & CO., New York.
GUN-POWDER
SMITH & RAND, Manufactures of ORANGE RIFLE and ORANGE LIGHTNING Powder, of superior strength and cleanness.
Office, 170 Broadway, New York.
Soldiers, especially officers, often times purchased their own battlefield supplies. Many times the products ended up being worthless and were cast aside during long marches.
DIARRHOEA.
DYSENTARY, CHOLERA, CHOLERA
MORBUS, &c.--Certain and immediate cure. HEGEMAN & CO.'s celebrated Diarrhoea Remedy has been used with unfailing success since the Cholera season of 1832. A single dose will usually check the diarrhoea in a few hours. Prepared only by HEGEMAN & CO., Chemists and Druggists, New York. Sold by all the principal Druggists in the United States.
Disease killed more soldiers during the Civil War than did battle inflicted wounds. This was standard for wars before the 20th century. The drug claims to heal three of the most common of deadly camp diseases.
Remington's
ARMY AND NAVY
REVOLVER.
Approved by the Government.
Warranted superior to any other Pistol of the kind. Also Pocket and Belt Revolvers. Sold by the Trade generally.
E. REMINGTON & SONS,
Ilion, N.Y.
Officers were expected to purchase their own sidearms and swords.
U.S. Gov. Artificial Leg Depots,
658 Broadway, N.Y., Rochester, N.Y. Chicago, Ill., Cincinnati, O., and St. Louis, Mo., where the Government furnishes the U.S. Army and Navy Leg to Soldiers gratis, or its value applied on the Anatomical Ball and Socket-Jointed Leg, which has lateral motion at the ankle like the natural one.
DOUGLAS BLY, M.D., U.S. Commissioner. For instructions address DR. Bly, at nearest Depot.
The demand must be quite high for the government to create five depots.
DO YOU WANT LUXURIANT
WHISKERS OR MUSTACHES?--My Onguent will force them to grow heavily in six weeks (upon the smoothest face) without stain or injury the skin. Price $1--sent by mail, post free, to any address, on receipt of an order.
R.G. GRAHAM, No. 109 Nassau Street, N.Y.
There are at least three more along the same lines.
SOMETHING NEW
IN PLAYING CARDS.
LOVE SCENES.
DESIGNS from FRENCH ARTISTS.
The above new Card has fifty-two beautiful pictures, of elegant design, and they can also be used the same as ordinary playing cards, thus combining pleasure with amusement. Enclose 50 cents and two red stamps, and send for sample pack. $5 per dozen. Liberal discount by gross to dealers. H.A. CASWELL, 60 Nassau St., New York.
One of my favorite ads. It speaks for itself.
I could teach much of the Civil War through these ads.
I saw a lot more wildlife at Kennesaw Mountain than I expected. I took all of the following from the trail.
These butterflies were everywhere, but they wouldn't sit still for a good shot.
I saw at least five deer. All of them seem quite used to humans.
While trying to take a picture of one of the butterflies, I heard something in the leaves behind me. Wondering what it was, I watched for over a minute as something seemed to be trying to push itself up from the leaves. This little guy popped up and quickly retreated.
I used to be fast enough to catch these lizards with my bare hands.
One of the joys of Disney World is finding the Secret Mickeys. I found this one on top of Little Kennesaw Mountain. These cactii are numerous across the crest of Big and Little Kennesaw Mountain.
Peace
..._
26 July 2007
Kennesaw Mountain, GA
I took a long hike at Kennesaw Mountain National Battlefield Park on Wednesday (from the visitor center over Big and Little Kennesaw Mountain down to Burnt Hickory Grove and back to the visitor center around the base of the mountain). If you live in/near Atlanta and haven't been there, you must take a half of a day to explore it. I snuck away by telling my wife that I am teaching a Civil War class and need to scout locations (visions of field trips are dancing in my head). I have written about a previous visit to KM here.
While there I couldn't help but buy a couple of things in the bookstore. Many of the items can be found at virtually any local historical site. I got two reproductions of Harper's Weekly: A Journal of Civilization ($2.00 each). One is dated April 27, 1861 and the other July 23, 1864. I didn't get them for their articles or illustrations but for the ads on the last two pages. I will be working them into lessons on advertising, primary sources, and the Civil War. In some ways, the ads reveal that little has changed: get rich quick schemes, balding prevention, magical medicines, new technologies, testimonials, etc. The change in ad content from 1861 (the very beginning of the Civil War) to July of 1864 (when war weariness was beginning to weigh on the coming presidential election) is also very suggestive.
What follows is a selection of the 1861 Harper's Weekly ads. Others I left out include pianos, muslin shirts, paper ties, horse medicine, a patent baby-tender, a ladies' fashion book, and other similar items (my comments in italics):
Premature Loss of the Hair,
Which is so common now-a-days, may be entirely prevented by the use of Burnett's Cocoaine. It has been used in thousands of cases where the hair was coming out in handfuls, and has never failed to arrest its decay, and to promote a healthy and vigorous growth. It is, at the same time, unrivaled as a dressing for the hair. A single application will render it soft and glossy for several days.
For several days? Does this mean they didn't wash their hair for...several days? Even if users continue to lose hair, I am sure they feel much better about themselves after using Burnett's Cocoaine.
"Matrimony made Easy."--A new work, showing how either sex may be suitably married, irrespective of age or appearance, which can not fail--free for 25 cents. Address T. Williams & Co., Publishers, Box 2300, Philad.
I love it: free for 25 cents! The rest of this ad speaks for itself.
$5,000 REWARD--TO ANY SOBER energetic man who fails to make $2,000 a year. Business easy, honest and at home. For full particulars, inclose a stamp for return, and address
A.D.F., Box 78, P.O., Wellsburg, Va.
I wonder if it involves stuffing envelopes?
6000 AGENTS wanted, to sell SIX NEW INVENTIONS--two very recent, and of great value to families; all pay great profit to Agents. Send four stamps and get 80 pages particulars. EPHRAIM BROWN, Lowell, Mass.
What do you think: Amway or Tupperware?
SANDS' SARSPARILLA--The best Spring Alternative. It will purify the blood, promote a vigorous circulation and thoroughly renovate the system. For sale by A.B. & D. SANDS, 100 Fulton St., N.Y.
Wheeler & Wilson's Sewing Machings At reduced prices, with Glass Cloth Presser, Improved Loop-Check, New Style Hammer, Binder, Corder, etc. Office No. 595 Broadway, New York.
"This Machine makes the 'LOCK STITCH,' and ranks highest, on account of the elasticity, permanence, beauty, and general desirableness of the stitching when done, and the wide range of its application." [Report of the American Institute, New York.
5,000 Men Wanted To Sell LLOYD'S NEW POLITCAL CHART FOR THE TIMES, containing large, new, colored Portraits of PRESIDENT LINCOLN AND HIS CABINET, GEN. SCOTT, GEN. WOOL, MAJ. ANDERSON, AND LIEUT. SLEMMER, with a sketch of the life of each. A MAP OF OUR COUNTRY, showing, in different colors, the FREE STATES, BORDER SLAVE STATES, SECEDED STATES, and TERRITORIES.
Also, accurate Election and Census Returns for 1860, with much other valuable information.
Finely colored on excellent paper, 28X36 inches in size.
Mailed, pre-paid, for 25 cents. (Stamps received.)
A RARE CHANCE FOR AGENTS.
Published by H.H. LLOYD & CO'S,
Agents' General Depot for BOOKS, MAPS, AND STATIONARY PACKAGES, No. 25 Howard Street, New York.
Capitalism always finds a way to make good on national crises.
General Scott's Infantry Tactics; or, Rules for the Exercise and Maneuvres of the United States Infantry. 3 vols. 24mo, Muslin, #2 50. Published by Authority.
United States Army Regulations. Approved by the President of the United States, and Printed under the directions of the Secretary of War. 12 mo, Muslin, $1 50.
Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, Franklin Square, New York.
I shall post the ads from 1864 tomorrow. Until then, some pictures:
One of the few monuments at Kennesaw (compared, say, to Chickamauga). The inscription reads:
We sleep here in obedience to law:
When duty called, we came,
When country called, we died.
How may students will see in this inscription an echo of the Spartan memorial at Thermopylae: Go, stranger, and tell the Spartans that we lie here in obedience to their laws.
View from the top looking north to the North Georgia Mountains.
View from the top looking south to the Atlanta hazeline. Usually one can see Stone Mountain but the haze was too bad.
Gun emplacements at Fort McBride on top of Little Kennesaw Mountain.
Peace
..._
While there I couldn't help but buy a couple of things in the bookstore. Many of the items can be found at virtually any local historical site. I got two reproductions of Harper's Weekly: A Journal of Civilization ($2.00 each). One is dated April 27, 1861 and the other July 23, 1864. I didn't get them for their articles or illustrations but for the ads on the last two pages. I will be working them into lessons on advertising, primary sources, and the Civil War. In some ways, the ads reveal that little has changed: get rich quick schemes, balding prevention, magical medicines, new technologies, testimonials, etc. The change in ad content from 1861 (the very beginning of the Civil War) to July of 1864 (when war weariness was beginning to weigh on the coming presidential election) is also very suggestive.
What follows is a selection of the 1861 Harper's Weekly ads. Others I left out include pianos, muslin shirts, paper ties, horse medicine, a patent baby-tender, a ladies' fashion book, and other similar items (my comments in italics):
Premature Loss of the Hair,
Which is so common now-a-days, may be entirely prevented by the use of Burnett's Cocoaine. It has been used in thousands of cases where the hair was coming out in handfuls, and has never failed to arrest its decay, and to promote a healthy and vigorous growth. It is, at the same time, unrivaled as a dressing for the hair. A single application will render it soft and glossy for several days.
For several days? Does this mean they didn't wash their hair for...several days? Even if users continue to lose hair, I am sure they feel much better about themselves after using Burnett's Cocoaine.
"Matrimony made Easy."--A new work, showing how either sex may be suitably married, irrespective of age or appearance, which can not fail--free for 25 cents. Address T. Williams & Co., Publishers, Box 2300, Philad.
I love it: free for 25 cents! The rest of this ad speaks for itself.
$5,000 REWARD--TO ANY SOBER energetic man who fails to make $2,000 a year. Business easy, honest and at home. For full particulars, inclose a stamp for return, and address
A.D.F., Box 78, P.O., Wellsburg, Va.
I wonder if it involves stuffing envelopes?
6000 AGENTS wanted, to sell SIX NEW INVENTIONS--two very recent, and of great value to families; all pay great profit to Agents. Send four stamps and get 80 pages particulars. EPHRAIM BROWN, Lowell, Mass.
What do you think: Amway or Tupperware?
SANDS' SARSPARILLA--The best Spring Alternative. It will purify the blood, promote a vigorous circulation and thoroughly renovate the system. For sale by A.B. & D. SANDS, 100 Fulton St., N.Y.
Wheeler & Wilson's Sewing Machings At reduced prices, with Glass Cloth Presser, Improved Loop-Check, New Style Hammer, Binder, Corder, etc. Office No. 595 Broadway, New York.
"This Machine makes the 'LOCK STITCH,' and ranks highest, on account of the elasticity, permanence, beauty, and general desirableness of the stitching when done, and the wide range of its application." [Report of the American Institute, New York.
5,000 Men Wanted To Sell LLOYD'S NEW POLITCAL CHART FOR THE TIMES, containing large, new, colored Portraits of PRESIDENT LINCOLN AND HIS CABINET, GEN. SCOTT, GEN. WOOL, MAJ. ANDERSON, AND LIEUT. SLEMMER, with a sketch of the life of each. A MAP OF OUR COUNTRY, showing, in different colors, the FREE STATES, BORDER SLAVE STATES, SECEDED STATES, and TERRITORIES.
Also, accurate Election and Census Returns for 1860, with much other valuable information.
Finely colored on excellent paper, 28X36 inches in size.
Mailed, pre-paid, for 25 cents. (Stamps received.)
A RARE CHANCE FOR AGENTS.
Published by H.H. LLOYD & CO'S,
Agents' General Depot for BOOKS, MAPS, AND STATIONARY PACKAGES, No. 25 Howard Street, New York.
Capitalism always finds a way to make good on national crises.
General Scott's Infantry Tactics; or, Rules for the Exercise and Maneuvres of the United States Infantry. 3 vols. 24mo, Muslin, #2 50. Published by Authority.
United States Army Regulations. Approved by the President of the United States, and Printed under the directions of the Secretary of War. 12 mo, Muslin, $1 50.
Published by HARPER & BROTHERS, Franklin Square, New York.
I shall post the ads from 1864 tomorrow. Until then, some pictures:
One of the few monuments at Kennesaw (compared, say, to Chickamauga). The inscription reads:
We sleep here in obedience to law:
When duty called, we came,
When country called, we died.
How may students will see in this inscription an echo of the Spartan memorial at Thermopylae: Go, stranger, and tell the Spartans that we lie here in obedience to their laws.
View from the top looking north to the North Georgia Mountains.
View from the top looking south to the Atlanta hazeline. Usually one can see Stone Mountain but the haze was too bad.
Gun emplacements at Fort McBride on top of Little Kennesaw Mountain.
Peace
..._
20 July 2007
Georgia Carnival #14
The 14th edition of the Georgia Carnival of Bloggers is up at Georgia on My Mind. Take a look!
Peace
..._
Peace
..._
19 July 2007
Some Things You Only See When You Don't Have a Camera, Number 2
The spider was in a concrete chute leading into a storm drain. I don't know what drew my eye that way, but there it was: the largest spider that I have seen in the wilds of Georgia. I have seen spiders too numerous to count. I have killed most of them (see here). I have seen large spiders. With the exception of National Geographic, I have never seen one so large. If it had been hairy, it could have passed for a tarantula. It took no notice of me; it was so big it didn't need to. I examined it for a full five minutes, pondering my duty. Concluding that any swipe at it would probably only cause it to fall or retreat into the depths of the chute where it would undoubtedly breed tens of thousands of value-sized progeny, and given the fact that I was at least a mile from home, I elected to leave it be while secretly wishing that the man with the rifle was close by.
Since that moment of mercy two weeks ago, I have scoured the local headlines in fear of seeing something like, "Local Tot Assaulted, Dragged Under Ground by Massive Arachnid, Body Still Missing" or "House Encased in Silk, Inhabitants Trapped Within." I was shocked today when I read the following headline in the AJC, "Teen Claims Spiders Alerted Her to Fire." The story relates:
Danielle Vigue, 18, says she awoke early Tuesday to find spiders in her room, and started killing them. When more showed up, she says she went across the hall and got into bed with her 15-year-old sister, Lauren.
"At first there were five, they were all around the light fixture," Danielle Vigue told The Saginaw News. "I hate spiders, they freak me out."
A fire apparently was smoldering in the attic...
Later, the room was found to be filled with smoke and fire.
What is this? Could a new era in human-arachnid relations have sprung from my moment of mercy to the queen of Georgia spiders? Even the 30-year fire chief had never heard of spiders saving someone from a fire.
Sadly, the hope for a new era is mere self-deception and faulty thinking. Note that the story relates no evidence for a fire before the appearance and mass murder of several spiders. The fire was noticed after several spiders were killed. While it is impossible to reach any definitive conclusion, the spiders could have just as easily have started the fire in revenge for the death of their colleagues as fled from it.
With the issue ambiguous, I will await more definitive proof of the goodwill of spiders. Until then, I will be checking the batteries in my fire alarms.
Peace
..._
Since that moment of mercy two weeks ago, I have scoured the local headlines in fear of seeing something like, "Local Tot Assaulted, Dragged Under Ground by Massive Arachnid, Body Still Missing" or "House Encased in Silk, Inhabitants Trapped Within." I was shocked today when I read the following headline in the AJC, "Teen Claims Spiders Alerted Her to Fire." The story relates:
Danielle Vigue, 18, says she awoke early Tuesday to find spiders in her room, and started killing them. When more showed up, she says she went across the hall and got into bed with her 15-year-old sister, Lauren.
"At first there were five, they were all around the light fixture," Danielle Vigue told The Saginaw News. "I hate spiders, they freak me out."
A fire apparently was smoldering in the attic...
Later, the room was found to be filled with smoke and fire.
What is this? Could a new era in human-arachnid relations have sprung from my moment of mercy to the queen of Georgia spiders? Even the 30-year fire chief had never heard of spiders saving someone from a fire.
Sadly, the hope for a new era is mere self-deception and faulty thinking. Note that the story relates no evidence for a fire before the appearance and mass murder of several spiders. The fire was noticed after several spiders were killed. While it is impossible to reach any definitive conclusion, the spiders could have just as easily have started the fire in revenge for the death of their colleagues as fled from it.
With the issue ambiguous, I will await more definitive proof of the goodwill of spiders. Until then, I will be checking the batteries in my fire alarms.
Peace
..._
16 July 2007
Some Things You Only See When You Don't Have a Camera
Turning a corner and descending into a rural valley hidden in a sea of suburbs, the walker noticed that the road lacked painted stripes; it was as though he was walking through the Cobb County of forty years ago when many of its roads were rural, stripeless, and often unpaved. It was the day before Independence Day, and the flags and bunting were popping up like March daffodils. The depression of a stream paralleled the road on the other side of the narrow valley. Long, winding driveways led from the road, across the stream and up the side of the valley where homes nestled among the trees. The relentless barking of a dog drew the walker's attention. Two men stood under the trees in a small clearing near the intersection of the stream and a driveway. At first, it seemed that the dog was tied to a tree between the two men. Then it became clear that the dog was penned up near the house, but was very interested in whatever was tied up to the tree. One of the men seemed to be carrying a long stick as though it were a gun. The fettered animal turned to reveal the silhouette of a goat, and the man turned to reveal the silhouette of a man with a rifle. The goat continued turning as the man angled to get in the killing shot. With one motion the man expertly lifted the rifle and fired one shot. The sound was surprisingly quiet. The dull thump in the back of its head buckled the goat's knees as it collapsed in slow motion. It did not move again, and the dog went nearly insane with glee and frustration behind his fence.
The walker blinked, surprised at the scene that he had just witnessed and coming slowly to the realization that surely the carcass was being specially prepared for the next day's July 4 celebration. He chastised himself that his first reaction had been to wish he had a phone so that he could call emergency services. He wondered what the police signal for "goat-down" was. As he ascended the road out of the valley of death, he tried to picture this scene in one of the new neighborhoods of nearly identical million dollar homes only a few blocks away. The neighborhood association would have been down on the amateur butchers with the police and a court order before the barrel of the rifle had cooled. The two men would have been cited with disturbing the peace, discharging a firearm, unlicensed animal husbandry, first-degree goaticide, and exposing the brutal realities of life and death to those who would rather not think about it.
The walker entered his front door strangely pleased that close by, a goat would be slowly roasting over a fire at a large, hopefully raucous assembly on Independence Day.
Peace
..._
The walker blinked, surprised at the scene that he had just witnessed and coming slowly to the realization that surely the carcass was being specially prepared for the next day's July 4 celebration. He chastised himself that his first reaction had been to wish he had a phone so that he could call emergency services. He wondered what the police signal for "goat-down" was. As he ascended the road out of the valley of death, he tried to picture this scene in one of the new neighborhoods of nearly identical million dollar homes only a few blocks away. The neighborhood association would have been down on the amateur butchers with the police and a court order before the barrel of the rifle had cooled. The two men would have been cited with disturbing the peace, discharging a firearm, unlicensed animal husbandry, first-degree goaticide, and exposing the brutal realities of life and death to those who would rather not think about it.
The walker entered his front door strangely pleased that close by, a goat would be slowly roasting over a fire at a large, hopefully raucous assembly on Independence Day.
Peace
..._
12 July 2007
Tour of my New Classroom
Four preps. I found out today that I will have four preps this fall. Four preps and five classes. For those of you not sure what a "prep" is, the term is short for "preparation." It refers to the number of different classes for which a teacher must prepare. The more preps one has, the more work one has. I have had as many as six and as few as two. Most teachers consider three to be challenging, but it is quite common in small and mid-sized private schools (less pay and more work--go figure). Four is unusual and is usually reserved for rookie teachers (because of the demands of seniority, rookie teachers, the ones least prepared for it, always get the worst schedules).
My class load:
Two sections of US History
One section of US Government
One section of AP US History
One section of US Civil War
The last one is quite exciting. I have had the privilege of teaching the Civil War one other time and look forward to it.
Here are some views of my new classroom (taken very amateurishly with my new Canon A710is):
From the door (25 total desks):
From the front of the room (look at all of the storage in the back!)
From one of my two windows:
From the other of my two windows:
A key piece of equipment (an LCD projector--very exciting):
My class load:
Two sections of US History
One section of US Government
One section of AP US History
One section of US Civil War
The last one is quite exciting. I have had the privilege of teaching the Civil War one other time and look forward to it.
Here are some views of my new classroom (taken very amateurishly with my new Canon A710is):
From the door (25 total desks):
From the front of the room (look at all of the storage in the back!)
From one of my two windows:
From the other of my two windows:
A key piece of equipment (an LCD projector--very exciting):
Not pictured: My Smart Board which is being installed this week or next.
Overall, the room is smaller than my last one, but it has more storage, better desks, an LCD projector and Smart Board, and an industrial sized dispenser of antibacterial solution mounted on the wall. The view is not quite as beautiful as my last room's (three pine trees loom out of one of the windows), but I still overlook trees.
Peace
..._
02 July 2007
UPDATED: RIP: HP Photosmart R707 Camera 2005-2007
My digital camera has died. I took over 3,500 pictures with it before its shutter closed for the last time. It was a good camera. Before you rejoice that there will no longer appear any obnoxious photos on this blog, I must inform you that I just purchased this:
Peace
It is a Canon a710is and shipped today. I hope to see it by Thursday. I am very excited about it. I can't wait to take a picture of Orlando Bloom with it.
Peace
..._
My camera did get here on Thurdsday! Crutchfield Electronics (via Amazon) really came through--ordered on Monday and delivered on Thursday with a holiday on Wednesday. I am still working through the myriad settings and have yet to take a really great picture, but here is a sample that has been severely cropped (I am just impressed by the shininess of the bumblebee's abdomen):
Peace
..._
26 June 2007
Mid-Week Miscellany:
We had a backyard BBQ at our house this past weekend. There were eight adults and fourteen children under the age of thirteen. There was one bloody nose, one bloody knee, countless bug bites, one nose run-over by a wagon (yes--a different nose), more than a few meltdowns (mostly by my eldest), and one Jedi council. It was hot. Really hot. We enjoyed it and thank all who came.
I make a habit of watching Gardening in Georgia on PBS whenever I can. A few weeks ago the host, Walter Reeve, was talking with one of the many experts from UGA that he has on the show. The expert, I forget his name, remarked that gardening is a hobby of hope; people who garden have hope and continually look forward to the future. They plant now for the beauty they will see next year or even years hence. I like that.
For the tags of my last Miscellany, I whimsically added Orlando Bloom. I have received at least five hits so far from that tag.
When I first taught economics in 2001, I created an in-class stock market simulation to introduce students to the stock market. Students were assigned roles as clerks, brokers, mutual fund managers, or investors. In two or three days of class time, we simulated about three months of stock activity using random events and trends calculated on rather complex charts. I no longer use the simulation now that I use Virtual Stock Exchange, but I came across my fictional company descriptions and cannot pass up the opportunity to record them for posterity here:
Stock Market Research
Corporations
Bates Motel (BaM):
Bates Motel is a Detroit, Michigan based low cost motel chain. Founded in 1956 by Albert Hitchcock, the chain now has 243 motels in 47 states. Their motto, “Bates Motel: Where we don’t murder your budget,” was adopted by their controversial new CEO Alice “Mother” Bates. “Mother” Bates took control of the chain from her son in 1997 in a hostile inner-family feud. Since then, the company has focused on cutting costs and slashing overhead to cut the red ink on company statements. Seventeen struggling motels were closed in 1997 with another twelve getting the ax in 1998. In 1999, Bates reported their first profit in seven years though customer service complaints have risen dramatically. About half of the Bates chain is owned by franchisees, the other half controlled by the company directly. In January 2001, “Mother” Bates announced plans to expand into the Central and South American market, where, she said, “We can make a killing”. Negotiations are under way for expansion into Mexico, Brazil, Columbia, Panama, and Peru. Analysts are generally divided on future earnings potential because of the risky nature of overseas expansion.
Bevrolet Motor Company (Bev):
Bev McGee founded Bevrolet Motor Company in 1923 as manufacturer of drive trains. Bevrolet was later acquired as a subsidiary parts supplier for Chevrolet in 1956. The company broke from Chevrolet in 1972 and continued to market parts to a wide variety of companies including Honda, Subaru, Ford, Chevrolet, and Mitsubishi. In 1994 the company began automobile production with their line of Bamaros. In 1997 the company launched, with much fanfare, the Urban line of Sports Utility Vehicles. While the Bamaro line remains strong, the Urban line has failed to live up to expectations. The directors of the company continue to play up the new line of 2002 Urbans which, they say, will rewrite the book on SUVs. The company has failed to make a profit since 1993 because of the massive investment in the Barmaro line and Urban line. The parts division of the company also appears to be in trouble as many auto manufacturers do not like to buy from competitors. Mitsubishi cancelled their contract last year and Honda, Subaru, Ford and Chevrolet are considering the same measures. Analysts generally advise against buying this stock. The stock reached an all time low of $7.50 last week.
Croaka-Cola (CrC):
Invented in 1943 by California Entrepreneur Michael McGee, Croaka-Cola has slowly improved regional market share in the competitive soda industry. Dominant in the Southwest during the 1950’s, Croaka-Cola almost went under due to pressure from Pepsi. The removal of asbestos from the secret recipe of Croaka-Cola in 1963 led to its rejuvenation. Since then Michael McGee has established an unprecedented 15% share of the soda market in the South West. In 1990 the Croaka-Cola Casino opened in Las Vegas. A theme park like atmosphere and family oriented gambling have made the Casino the crown jewel of McGee’s empire. Though rumors of the company being bought out by one of the big players continued through the 90’s, the still spry at 89, McGee maintains a firm grip on the company. The company’s goals for the new millennium include nationwide expansion and national distribution of the casino’s microbrew Croaka-Beer and Croaka-Stout.
Ezzon Oil (Ez):
One of the great American oil producers, Ezzon was formed when Standard Oil Company was broken up early in the twentieth century. The company today has holding worth over $250 Billion on all seven continents. Though the company experienced severe public relation troubles following the wreck of the Ezzon tanker Baldez in 1988 and the ensuing clean up, the company has emerged with a sterling image as eco-friendly. The company continues its efforts at overseas exploration for new oil resources. Recently the company, in partnership with a Russian firm, has spent large amounts of money in the exploration of Siberia. The company continues to report big profits and most fund managers include this stock in their holdings.
MacroSoft (Ma):
This software giant, founded by nerdy genius N.O. Dates, has gained near worldwide monopoly status with the dominance of its operating system “Doors”. Dates, the richest man in the United States, has been criticized for unfair business practices and the company is presently under investigation for the violation of federal anti-trust laws. Dates continues to fight the investigation and is confident that nothing will come of it. However, US President Bill Cantax has made it his personal goal to break up the software giant. Stock prices have dropped dramatically over the past year as details of the investigation have been made public. Pre-sales of the new Doors 2-ought-2 operating system to be released in two-months have been strong.
Melta Airlines (Me):
This Atlanta based airline giant continues to find ways to make a profit while other airlines have gone bankrupt. Many point to the companies’ positive relationship with its employees and its well-timed acquisition of smaller, nearly bankrupt airlines, as the key to its success. The company is the second largest airline in the world. The present CEO Roberta Burns has been credited with the company’s success and its outstanding relationship with labor.
Nile Books and More (Nil):
This Internet book superstore has yet to show a profit though it still remains strong on Wall Street. Stock prices have consistently risen since its IPO in 1996. Analysts predict that its present dominance of Internet book sales will lead to future profits. Niles plans include expansion of their CD, DVD, Video, and Game catalog as well as potential ventures into computer sales. Some analysts warn that the stock may be overvalued and that unless the company begins showing a profit soon the stock could fail dramatically.
Pacific Steel Corp (Pac):
This storied company has somehow managed to stay afloat through the lean years of the steel market in the United States while most steel company have folded. Recently the company has been hurt by imports of cheap Korea and Russian steel. Pacific’s complaints to the government concerning the unfair business practices of the Korean and Russian steel makers have gone unanswered. Despite this Pacific remains the world’s leader in the high-grade and high-tech steels that the company has begun to focus on in recent years. PSC continues to make huge investments in Research and Development has recently announced several breakthrough methods of high-carbon steel and stainless steel production. Though still in the red the company is on solid financial ground and has recently signed contracts for several high-tech steel projects. While some analysts see the low cost of the stock as a bargain others see it as too great of risk.
Pepe Inc (Pep):
The Pepe corporation includes the Sugar High Candies division, the Big Blots chain of discount stores and the AutoMax chain of used car dealerships. The company’s diversity has proven to be both a strength and a weakness. While the company as a whole has been able to weather the bad times of one of its divisions some think that the company would be better off focusing on one thing. Recently the AutoMax chain has experienced difficulties achieving sales goals and several unprofitable locations have been liquidated. Big Blots continues its expansion and is considered the keystone of the company. Sugar High Candies, the original holding of the company continues to maintain 5% market share of candy sales nationwide.
Old Army (OA):
This peppy upstart came out of nowhere in the 90’s and quickly carved a large chunk out of teenagers’ wallets. With its mix of low overhead, low costs and stylish clothing the company has experienced unprecedented success. Profits remain strong and a new initiative of loss-prevention aims to cut losses to theft. Old Army plans on opening 53 new stores in the coming year.
Shoehorn.com (SHC):
This recent IPO has recently dropped significantly in price. The internet shoe store has experienced difficultly marketing to shoppers used to being able to try shoes on for look and fit. Return rates have been high and have bit into the small profit that Shoehorn was able to post last year. The company is presently looking for investors to shore up the shaky finances.
SuperMegaWorld Corporation International (SMW):
This massive world wide corporation presently consists of: Zabisco, a snack food maker, Tall Tower Records, Galaxy Pictures, Media Two stores, and the Dizzy World entertainment complex. The company was originally the brainchild of Walt Dizzy and the antics of his frisky rat “Ricky”. The Ricky Rat name soon became a household name after World War II and was the star of a number of animated short films. Dizzy World opened in Orlando, Alabama in 1963 and has since become the entertainment capital of the world. Since then the company has acquired its other holdings and solidified into an entertainment super giant. Success of its films and store locations have boosted profits in recent years. Rumors swirl around the filming of the massively over budget and past due “Titanic II: The Revenge”. Many fear that the first film to cost over $1 Billion could very well sink Galaxy pictures.
United Business Machines (UBM):
One of the pioneer computer manufacturers and once the bluest of the blue chips, UBM has experienced difficulty converting from a hardware manufacturer to a software developer and service oriented firm. After a massive restructuring in the 1990’s and massive layoffs in the 1980’s the company, smaller and smarter, appears poised to make big gains playing on its well-respected name. Profits, though small, have returned to the company and the stock is making a rebound.
Peace
..._
I make a habit of watching Gardening in Georgia on PBS whenever I can. A few weeks ago the host, Walter Reeve, was talking with one of the many experts from UGA that he has on the show. The expert, I forget his name, remarked that gardening is a hobby of hope; people who garden have hope and continually look forward to the future. They plant now for the beauty they will see next year or even years hence. I like that.
For the tags of my last Miscellany, I whimsically added Orlando Bloom. I have received at least five hits so far from that tag.
When I first taught economics in 2001, I created an in-class stock market simulation to introduce students to the stock market. Students were assigned roles as clerks, brokers, mutual fund managers, or investors. In two or three days of class time, we simulated about three months of stock activity using random events and trends calculated on rather complex charts. I no longer use the simulation now that I use Virtual Stock Exchange, but I came across my fictional company descriptions and cannot pass up the opportunity to record them for posterity here:
Stock Market Research
Corporations
Bates Motel (BaM):
Bates Motel is a Detroit, Michigan based low cost motel chain. Founded in 1956 by Albert Hitchcock, the chain now has 243 motels in 47 states. Their motto, “Bates Motel: Where we don’t murder your budget,” was adopted by their controversial new CEO Alice “Mother” Bates. “Mother” Bates took control of the chain from her son in 1997 in a hostile inner-family feud. Since then, the company has focused on cutting costs and slashing overhead to cut the red ink on company statements. Seventeen struggling motels were closed in 1997 with another twelve getting the ax in 1998. In 1999, Bates reported their first profit in seven years though customer service complaints have risen dramatically. About half of the Bates chain is owned by franchisees, the other half controlled by the company directly. In January 2001, “Mother” Bates announced plans to expand into the Central and South American market, where, she said, “We can make a killing”. Negotiations are under way for expansion into Mexico, Brazil, Columbia, Panama, and Peru. Analysts are generally divided on future earnings potential because of the risky nature of overseas expansion.
Bevrolet Motor Company (Bev):
Bev McGee founded Bevrolet Motor Company in 1923 as manufacturer of drive trains. Bevrolet was later acquired as a subsidiary parts supplier for Chevrolet in 1956. The company broke from Chevrolet in 1972 and continued to market parts to a wide variety of companies including Honda, Subaru, Ford, Chevrolet, and Mitsubishi. In 1994 the company began automobile production with their line of Bamaros. In 1997 the company launched, with much fanfare, the Urban line of Sports Utility Vehicles. While the Bamaro line remains strong, the Urban line has failed to live up to expectations. The directors of the company continue to play up the new line of 2002 Urbans which, they say, will rewrite the book on SUVs. The company has failed to make a profit since 1993 because of the massive investment in the Barmaro line and Urban line. The parts division of the company also appears to be in trouble as many auto manufacturers do not like to buy from competitors. Mitsubishi cancelled their contract last year and Honda, Subaru, Ford and Chevrolet are considering the same measures. Analysts generally advise against buying this stock. The stock reached an all time low of $7.50 last week.
Croaka-Cola (CrC):
Invented in 1943 by California Entrepreneur Michael McGee, Croaka-Cola has slowly improved regional market share in the competitive soda industry. Dominant in the Southwest during the 1950’s, Croaka-Cola almost went under due to pressure from Pepsi. The removal of asbestos from the secret recipe of Croaka-Cola in 1963 led to its rejuvenation. Since then Michael McGee has established an unprecedented 15% share of the soda market in the South West. In 1990 the Croaka-Cola Casino opened in Las Vegas. A theme park like atmosphere and family oriented gambling have made the Casino the crown jewel of McGee’s empire. Though rumors of the company being bought out by one of the big players continued through the 90’s, the still spry at 89, McGee maintains a firm grip on the company. The company’s goals for the new millennium include nationwide expansion and national distribution of the casino’s microbrew Croaka-Beer and Croaka-Stout.
Ezzon Oil (Ez):
One of the great American oil producers, Ezzon was formed when Standard Oil Company was broken up early in the twentieth century. The company today has holding worth over $250 Billion on all seven continents. Though the company experienced severe public relation troubles following the wreck of the Ezzon tanker Baldez in 1988 and the ensuing clean up, the company has emerged with a sterling image as eco-friendly. The company continues its efforts at overseas exploration for new oil resources. Recently the company, in partnership with a Russian firm, has spent large amounts of money in the exploration of Siberia. The company continues to report big profits and most fund managers include this stock in their holdings.
MacroSoft (Ma):
This software giant, founded by nerdy genius N.O. Dates, has gained near worldwide monopoly status with the dominance of its operating system “Doors”. Dates, the richest man in the United States, has been criticized for unfair business practices and the company is presently under investigation for the violation of federal anti-trust laws. Dates continues to fight the investigation and is confident that nothing will come of it. However, US President Bill Cantax has made it his personal goal to break up the software giant. Stock prices have dropped dramatically over the past year as details of the investigation have been made public. Pre-sales of the new Doors 2-ought-2 operating system to be released in two-months have been strong.
Melta Airlines (Me):
This Atlanta based airline giant continues to find ways to make a profit while other airlines have gone bankrupt. Many point to the companies’ positive relationship with its employees and its well-timed acquisition of smaller, nearly bankrupt airlines, as the key to its success. The company is the second largest airline in the world. The present CEO Roberta Burns has been credited with the company’s success and its outstanding relationship with labor.
Nile Books and More (Nil):
This Internet book superstore has yet to show a profit though it still remains strong on Wall Street. Stock prices have consistently risen since its IPO in 1996. Analysts predict that its present dominance of Internet book sales will lead to future profits. Niles plans include expansion of their CD, DVD, Video, and Game catalog as well as potential ventures into computer sales. Some analysts warn that the stock may be overvalued and that unless the company begins showing a profit soon the stock could fail dramatically.
Pacific Steel Corp (Pac):
This storied company has somehow managed to stay afloat through the lean years of the steel market in the United States while most steel company have folded. Recently the company has been hurt by imports of cheap Korea and Russian steel. Pacific’s complaints to the government concerning the unfair business practices of the Korean and Russian steel makers have gone unanswered. Despite this Pacific remains the world’s leader in the high-grade and high-tech steels that the company has begun to focus on in recent years. PSC continues to make huge investments in Research and Development has recently announced several breakthrough methods of high-carbon steel and stainless steel production. Though still in the red the company is on solid financial ground and has recently signed contracts for several high-tech steel projects. While some analysts see the low cost of the stock as a bargain others see it as too great of risk.
Pepe Inc (Pep):
The Pepe corporation includes the Sugar High Candies division, the Big Blots chain of discount stores and the AutoMax chain of used car dealerships. The company’s diversity has proven to be both a strength and a weakness. While the company as a whole has been able to weather the bad times of one of its divisions some think that the company would be better off focusing on one thing. Recently the AutoMax chain has experienced difficulties achieving sales goals and several unprofitable locations have been liquidated. Big Blots continues its expansion and is considered the keystone of the company. Sugar High Candies, the original holding of the company continues to maintain 5% market share of candy sales nationwide.
Old Army (OA):
This peppy upstart came out of nowhere in the 90’s and quickly carved a large chunk out of teenagers’ wallets. With its mix of low overhead, low costs and stylish clothing the company has experienced unprecedented success. Profits remain strong and a new initiative of loss-prevention aims to cut losses to theft. Old Army plans on opening 53 new stores in the coming year.
Shoehorn.com (SHC):
This recent IPO has recently dropped significantly in price. The internet shoe store has experienced difficultly marketing to shoppers used to being able to try shoes on for look and fit. Return rates have been high and have bit into the small profit that Shoehorn was able to post last year. The company is presently looking for investors to shore up the shaky finances.
SuperMegaWorld Corporation International (SMW):
This massive world wide corporation presently consists of: Zabisco, a snack food maker, Tall Tower Records, Galaxy Pictures, Media Two stores, and the Dizzy World entertainment complex. The company was originally the brainchild of Walt Dizzy and the antics of his frisky rat “Ricky”. The Ricky Rat name soon became a household name after World War II and was the star of a number of animated short films. Dizzy World opened in Orlando, Alabama in 1963 and has since become the entertainment capital of the world. Since then the company has acquired its other holdings and solidified into an entertainment super giant. Success of its films and store locations have boosted profits in recent years. Rumors swirl around the filming of the massively over budget and past due “Titanic II: The Revenge”. Many fear that the first film to cost over $1 Billion could very well sink Galaxy pictures.
United Business Machines (UBM):
One of the pioneer computer manufacturers and once the bluest of the blue chips, UBM has experienced difficulty converting from a hardware manufacturer to a software developer and service oriented firm. After a massive restructuring in the 1990’s and massive layoffs in the 1980’s the company, smaller and smarter, appears poised to make big gains playing on its well-respected name. Profits, though small, have returned to the company and the stock is making a rebound.
Peace
..._
23 June 2007
Georgia Carnival of Bloggers
The 12th edition of the Georgia Carnival of Bloggers is now available for your reading pleasure here. Enjoy.
Peace
..._
Peace
..._
20 June 2007
Mid-Week Miscellany: The Wiggles and Pirates, Too!
On Sunday we went to my sister's for my niece's birthday party. Since my niece finds Orlando Bloom's work in the Pirates movies to be that of a deeply talented actor, the party was pirate themed, and each child attendee received a cup of pirate loot. My six-year-old son and four-year-old had great fun with the eye patches and pirate bouncy balls. At one point my son came up with the idea of using the bouncy ball as his fake eye. He ran into the room and queried, "Do you want to see my peg eye?"
Earlier at that same party he was eating at a table full of older girls. Somehow, his elbow got wedged into the back of the chair, and he couldn't get it out. Not wanting to lose face in front of the ladies, he played it cool until his uncle walked by chair. He quietly asked if his uncle could help him because his elbow was stuck in the chair. His uncle helped him out, and the girls were never the wiser.
The twins just passed their ten month birthday. Yesterday I caught the eldest standing on his on-all-fours brother's back in an attempt to crawl onto the couch. He is becoming an accomplished escape artist, but has yet to learn that his actions have often painful consequences.
Did you see this Washinton Post piece: Va. School's No-Contact Rule Is a Touchy Subject? A couple of snippets:
All touching -- not only fighting or inappropriate touching -- is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: "NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!"
School officials say the rule helps keep crowded hallways and lunchrooms safe and orderly, and ensures that all students are comfortable. But Hal, 13, and his parents think the school's hands-off approach goes too far, and they are lobbying for a change.
...
Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer's principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.
"You get into shades of gray," Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' "
She has seen a poke escalate into a fight and a handshake that is a gang sign. Some students -- and these are friends -- play "bloody knuckles," which involves slamming their knuckles together as hard as they can. Counselors have heard from girls who are uncomfortable hugging boys but embarrassed to tell anyone. And in a culturally diverse school, officials say, families might have different views of what is appropriate.
It isn't as if hug police patrol the Kilmer hallways, Hernandez said. Usually an askance look from a teacher or a reminder to move along is enough to stop girls who are holding hands and giggling in a huddle or a boy who pats a buddy on the back. Students won't get busted if they high-five in class after answering a difficult math problem.
Typically, she said, only repeat offenders or those breaking other rules are reprimanded. "You have to have an absolute rule with students, and wiggle room and good judgment on behalf of the staff," Hernandez said.
Schools exist to educate. Besides subject area teaching, the social education of children is one of the most important functions of schools. Children must learn to function in groups in appropriate and constructive ways. They must learn how to appropriately talk to, listen to, and, yes, touch others. Teachers and administrators must serve the central place in this development and must ensure that children to do not come to serious harm.
Frankly, this policy is a cop-out and is lazy educating. In a misguided attempt to keep students from any harm, the school has abandoned all responsibility for the development of the vital social skill of appropriate touching and has instead opted to teach that touching is wrong without considering the harm that might to done to a child who is deprived the gift of friendly touch: "Usually an askance look from a teacher or a reminder to move along is enough to stop ... a boy who pats a buddy on the back." While it is important to stop the malicious plague of boys who pat their buddies on their backs, isn't it more important to engage students in the "shades of gray" that Principal Hernandez is so loath to consider? She argues that, "You have to have an absolute rule with students," but one wonders exactly how can an absolute rule have "wiggle room" and still be absolute. Perhaps students are free to wiggle all they wish as long as they don't touch during "wiggle-time." Besides, that wiggling will most certainly be eliminated as soon as the Ritalin is added to the school water-fountains. I agree with her that "good judgment on behalf of the staff" is necessary; let us hope that the staff of Kilmer Middle School shall one day demonstrate that good judgment. Until then there will be a lot of teachers looking askance at the giggling girls and at the boys patting boys on the back.
Peace
..._
Earlier at that same party he was eating at a table full of older girls. Somehow, his elbow got wedged into the back of the chair, and he couldn't get it out. Not wanting to lose face in front of the ladies, he played it cool until his uncle walked by chair. He quietly asked if his uncle could help him because his elbow was stuck in the chair. His uncle helped him out, and the girls were never the wiser.
The twins just passed their ten month birthday. Yesterday I caught the eldest standing on his on-all-fours brother's back in an attempt to crawl onto the couch. He is becoming an accomplished escape artist, but has yet to learn that his actions have often painful consequences.
Did you see this Washinton Post piece: Va. School's No-Contact Rule Is a Touchy Subject? A couple of snippets:
All touching -- not only fighting or inappropriate touching -- is against the rules at Kilmer Middle School in Vienna. Hand-holding, handshakes and high-fives? Banned. The rule has been conveyed to students this way: "NO PHYSICAL CONTACT!!!!!"
School officials say the rule helps keep crowded hallways and lunchrooms safe and orderly, and ensures that all students are comfortable. But Hal, 13, and his parents think the school's hands-off approach goes too far, and they are lobbying for a change.
...
Deborah Hernandez, Kilmer's principal, said the rule makes sense in a school that was built for 850 students but houses 1,100. She said that students should have their personal space protected and that many lack the maturity to understand what is acceptable or welcome.
"You get into shades of gray," Hernandez said. "The kids say, 'If he can high-five, then I can do this.' "
She has seen a poke escalate into a fight and a handshake that is a gang sign. Some students -- and these are friends -- play "bloody knuckles," which involves slamming their knuckles together as hard as they can. Counselors have heard from girls who are uncomfortable hugging boys but embarrassed to tell anyone. And in a culturally diverse school, officials say, families might have different views of what is appropriate.
It isn't as if hug police patrol the Kilmer hallways, Hernandez said. Usually an askance look from a teacher or a reminder to move along is enough to stop girls who are holding hands and giggling in a huddle or a boy who pats a buddy on the back. Students won't get busted if they high-five in class after answering a difficult math problem.
Typically, she said, only repeat offenders or those breaking other rules are reprimanded. "You have to have an absolute rule with students, and wiggle room and good judgment on behalf of the staff," Hernandez said.
Schools exist to educate. Besides subject area teaching, the social education of children is one of the most important functions of schools. Children must learn to function in groups in appropriate and constructive ways. They must learn how to appropriately talk to, listen to, and, yes, touch others. Teachers and administrators must serve the central place in this development and must ensure that children to do not come to serious harm.
Frankly, this policy is a cop-out and is lazy educating. In a misguided attempt to keep students from any harm, the school has abandoned all responsibility for the development of the vital social skill of appropriate touching and has instead opted to teach that touching is wrong without considering the harm that might to done to a child who is deprived the gift of friendly touch: "Usually an askance look from a teacher or a reminder to move along is enough to stop ... a boy who pats a buddy on the back." While it is important to stop the malicious plague of boys who pat their buddies on their backs, isn't it more important to engage students in the "shades of gray" that Principal Hernandez is so loath to consider? She argues that, "You have to have an absolute rule with students," but one wonders exactly how can an absolute rule have "wiggle room" and still be absolute. Perhaps students are free to wiggle all they wish as long as they don't touch during "wiggle-time." Besides, that wiggling will most certainly be eliminated as soon as the Ritalin is added to the school water-fountains. I agree with her that "good judgment on behalf of the staff" is necessary; let us hope that the staff of Kilmer Middle School shall one day demonstrate that good judgment. Until then there will be a lot of teachers looking askance at the giggling girls and at the boys patting boys on the back.
Peace
..._
15 June 2007
14 June 2007
Camping with the Chintzibobs: How Spring Break Broke the Tent, Part II
On April 26th the Ohoopee published an article entitled: Camping with the Chintzibobs: How Spring Break Broke the Tent, Part I. Without further delay, we give you Part II.
The first day and night of my eldest son's first camping trip had been as close to perfect as possible. I met the dawn of the second day pleased that no one had been attacked by a wild animal and nothing had burned down.
The second day of camping ended up much like the first; we hiked, fished, shot each other with Nerf guns, and nibbled Pop Tarts (truly the modern equivalent of Lembas). As the perfect day wore on, a cloud hung over me (so to speak). Before leaving on our trip, I had carefully checked the weather and knew now that I was promised a 30% of showers overnight. Being a Chintzibobs, I didn't like those odds. For a camping Chintzibobs, a 30% chance roughly translates as, "Build an ark and stock it with two of every kind of Pop Tart."
Tragically, I elected to pluck the nose hairs of Zeus and stay another night.
After dinner we went for a round the lake walk. I was alarmed though not surprised to see clouds gathering. At the exact midpoint of our trek around the lake, rain began to fall. Fortunately, it was only a gentle Spring zephyr. We made it back to camp and hid away in the tent with some pretzels, Gold Fish, pen, and paper. The rain fell steadily but half-heartedly for an hour, grew bored of itself, and went away. We emerged from the tent, made a fire, roasted a large number of marshmallows, and chatted about word origins.
The boy is going through a phase of: why do they call it that? When I don't have an answer, he usually supplies his own answer. Example:
"Why do they call it fire?"
"I don't know son."
Thoughtful staring at the sparks and smoke rise into the sky.
"Maybe it is because the fire flies and you can roast things over it."
"Oh I see, fi=fly and re=roast. Could be."
"I think it is."
The boy grew quickly sleepy by the fire and surprised me by going off to bed by himself by about 8:00 pm. I spent the next few hours enjoying the cool night air, the starry night, and the dying fire. Growing sleepy myself, I got up to douse the sparkling embers with my son's carefully laid out fire extinguishers (he had spent much of the evening gathering things to help put out the fire: rocks, sticks soaked in water, sand, etc). With the steaming death throes of the fire swirling about me like a specter, I looked up for one last look at the stars. They were gone.
I couldn't see a single star. The clouds had gathered quickly. By the time I settled into my sleeping bag, the first rumbles of thunder could be heard echoing off of the mountains. I told myself that it was just big trucks on the road by the park entrance. The wind began to rise as flashes of lightening began illuminating the tent. The thunder grew less grumbly and more cracky as the storm crept nearer. The rain fell, the wind blew, and the thunder snapped. The first storm passed into a light drizzle by midnight, and I hoped it would be over. A quick check showed the tent to still be dry.
The next storm exploded upon me just as I was dozing off. The thunder was so loud that my son shot up out of his sleeping bag in fear. I turned on the flashlight and assured him that I was there and that it was just a little storm. He laid back down and pushed his hands into his ears without complaint. The wind buffeted each of the sides of the tent in turn. The storm took a deep breath and again led me to believe that the rain was finished.
The rain fell again, the thunder and lightening shattered the quiet darkness, and the wind blew harder that I thought possible without trees falling all around us. The rain and wind began to come in great waves. Checking the seams, I could see that the water was starting to come through the seams not by drips but by being blow sideways through the gaps formed whenever the wind stretched out the fabric of the tent.
When I saw that the water was beginning to puddle and flow on the floor of the tent, I began to prepare to evacuate. I dressed and began gathering anything that would be ruined by getting wet. In the middle of this, a powerful gust struck the front of the tent, and I heard a plastic crack and snap. Then the front wall of the tent began to rise up above my head as a new ceiling. I think I said something I have since come to regret. I threw myself against the front of the tent to bring it back to earth and told my son to put his shoes on. As calmly as I could, I told him that we going to get into the car because the water was getting into the tent. I held the tent open for him, shined the flashlight for him, and told him to run to the car and get into the back seat. He refused. He was probably right to do so. I gathered what I could, and we ran to the car together.
The clock on the car said that it was after 1am. My son attempted to get some sleep in the back seat. The storm continued to rattle the valley. I sat in the driver's seat and wondered if my son would ever trust me again. The tent was in ruins. He was stuck, slightly damp, sleeping in the crowded backseat of a car. I didn't sleep much.
The rain stopped some time after 4am. We both got up early and surveyed the damage. I saw now that the wind had snapped a fiberglass support and pulled the front-side stakes out of the ground. The tent had flipped over itself but was stopped from further destruction by the still-holding rear stakes.
I watched my son closely for signs of trauma. Surely after last night he would want to go home immediately and never go camping again. His vision of me as competent and near god-like would be shattered. As soon as breakfast was over, he wanted to go fishing. We went down to the lake and watched the sunrise. On the way back to the campsite, I reminded him that we were going home today. He looked at me and asked me when we could go camping again and if we could stay longer next time. I smiled and told him, "Soon son, soon."
Peace
..._
The first day and night of my eldest son's first camping trip had been as close to perfect as possible. I met the dawn of the second day pleased that no one had been attacked by a wild animal and nothing had burned down.
The second day of camping ended up much like the first; we hiked, fished, shot each other with Nerf guns, and nibbled Pop Tarts (truly the modern equivalent of Lembas). As the perfect day wore on, a cloud hung over me (so to speak). Before leaving on our trip, I had carefully checked the weather and knew now that I was promised a 30% of showers overnight. Being a Chintzibobs, I didn't like those odds. For a camping Chintzibobs, a 30% chance roughly translates as, "Build an ark and stock it with two of every kind of Pop Tart."
Tragically, I elected to pluck the nose hairs of Zeus and stay another night.
After dinner we went for a round the lake walk. I was alarmed though not surprised to see clouds gathering. At the exact midpoint of our trek around the lake, rain began to fall. Fortunately, it was only a gentle Spring zephyr. We made it back to camp and hid away in the tent with some pretzels, Gold Fish, pen, and paper. The rain fell steadily but half-heartedly for an hour, grew bored of itself, and went away. We emerged from the tent, made a fire, roasted a large number of marshmallows, and chatted about word origins.
The boy is going through a phase of: why do they call it that? When I don't have an answer, he usually supplies his own answer. Example:
"Why do they call it fire?"
"I don't know son."
Thoughtful staring at the sparks and smoke rise into the sky.
"Maybe it is because the fire flies and you can roast things over it."
"Oh I see, fi=fly and re=roast. Could be."
"I think it is."
The boy grew quickly sleepy by the fire and surprised me by going off to bed by himself by about 8:00 pm. I spent the next few hours enjoying the cool night air, the starry night, and the dying fire. Growing sleepy myself, I got up to douse the sparkling embers with my son's carefully laid out fire extinguishers (he had spent much of the evening gathering things to help put out the fire: rocks, sticks soaked in water, sand, etc). With the steaming death throes of the fire swirling about me like a specter, I looked up for one last look at the stars. They were gone.
I couldn't see a single star. The clouds had gathered quickly. By the time I settled into my sleeping bag, the first rumbles of thunder could be heard echoing off of the mountains. I told myself that it was just big trucks on the road by the park entrance. The wind began to rise as flashes of lightening began illuminating the tent. The thunder grew less grumbly and more cracky as the storm crept nearer. The rain fell, the wind blew, and the thunder snapped. The first storm passed into a light drizzle by midnight, and I hoped it would be over. A quick check showed the tent to still be dry.
The next storm exploded upon me just as I was dozing off. The thunder was so loud that my son shot up out of his sleeping bag in fear. I turned on the flashlight and assured him that I was there and that it was just a little storm. He laid back down and pushed his hands into his ears without complaint. The wind buffeted each of the sides of the tent in turn. The storm took a deep breath and again led me to believe that the rain was finished.
The rain fell again, the thunder and lightening shattered the quiet darkness, and the wind blew harder that I thought possible without trees falling all around us. The rain and wind began to come in great waves. Checking the seams, I could see that the water was starting to come through the seams not by drips but by being blow sideways through the gaps formed whenever the wind stretched out the fabric of the tent.
When I saw that the water was beginning to puddle and flow on the floor of the tent, I began to prepare to evacuate. I dressed and began gathering anything that would be ruined by getting wet. In the middle of this, a powerful gust struck the front of the tent, and I heard a plastic crack and snap. Then the front wall of the tent began to rise up above my head as a new ceiling. I think I said something I have since come to regret. I threw myself against the front of the tent to bring it back to earth and told my son to put his shoes on. As calmly as I could, I told him that we going to get into the car because the water was getting into the tent. I held the tent open for him, shined the flashlight for him, and told him to run to the car and get into the back seat. He refused. He was probably right to do so. I gathered what I could, and we ran to the car together.
The clock on the car said that it was after 1am. My son attempted to get some sleep in the back seat. The storm continued to rattle the valley. I sat in the driver's seat and wondered if my son would ever trust me again. The tent was in ruins. He was stuck, slightly damp, sleeping in the crowded backseat of a car. I didn't sleep much.
The rain stopped some time after 4am. We both got up early and surveyed the damage. I saw now that the wind had snapped a fiberglass support and pulled the front-side stakes out of the ground. The tent had flipped over itself but was stopped from further destruction by the still-holding rear stakes.
I watched my son closely for signs of trauma. Surely after last night he would want to go home immediately and never go camping again. His vision of me as competent and near god-like would be shattered. As soon as breakfast was over, he wanted to go fishing. We went down to the lake and watched the sunrise. On the way back to the campsite, I reminded him that we were going home today. He looked at me and asked me when we could go camping again and if we could stay longer next time. I smiled and told him, "Soon son, soon."
Peace
..._
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