Monday Miscellany: Storm Warning

A sound like a bag of potatoes slowly rolling down the stairs got my attention. It is becoming an all too familiar sound, as it was my three-year-old girl falling down the stairs. She has fallen down the stairs a lot lately, but I could tell from the sound of the tumble that this one was more serious than previous falls. My wife quickly put down a baby, and I ran from the computer, visions of broken bones and bloody faces dancing in our imagination. She was already screaming by the time we got to her. As my wife tried to calm her, I thought I heard something above the cries. Was one of the babies crying? Yes, when of the babies is always crying, but there was something else. I glanced at the TV and saw the scrolling warning of imminent weather and the advice to take cover immediately. I picked up the crying baby, turned the channel to a better local channel, and helped my wife look over the girl while trying to keep an eye on the Doppler radar. It was a tense few minutes but the storm blew over and the girl ended up with a cut on her gum and a loose tooth but, thankfully, no other obvious injuries. She got a free sno-cone for her troubles.



My five-year-old boy is not going to be five for very much longer. As soon as Christmas was over, he began planning his birthday party. He wants a surprise party. He wants to have people over to our house. He wants to get up in the morning and not be allowed to come downstairs until everything is ready (like Christmas). He wants a Piñata. He doesn't want any clothes for his birthday. He wants a chocolate cake with chocolate icing with blue stripes and sprinkles. He told us that there is no school on Friday. We asked, "Why isn't there school on Friday?" "It's my birthday." He insists that one doesn't have to go to school on one's birthday. He wants a new blue and a new green light saber like the red one he got for Christmas (he currently has four light sabers). I hope he is not disappointed.



My five-year-old boy is also becoming a bit of a mystic. He claims that on leaving my office (slowly becoming the Lego room) that he couldn't get out because God/Jesus was in his way. God told him that He had good news and that he was going to heaven. After that, he was allowed to leave. His momma asked his what he felt when God was in his way. His response was to blush and say, "Everything." Today, it happened again. God was in the bathroom with him, but didn't have anything to say.


My five-year-old boy is permitted to watch old Looney Toon cartoon when they come on (Bugs, Daffy, Elmer, etc). They seem to have done me no harm (if you count always visualizing Bugs in drag on a large horse whenever Ride of the Valkyries plays). I have begun to question our decision of late. The casual use of tobacco, the continual employment of drag, and the objectification of women used in those early cartoons is quite shocking by today's standards. Sure, there are no burp or fart jokes, but there are also few female characters. The other morning, an early Looney Toon was panning quickly through a montage of images when the image of an attractive and shapely woman flashed by, the scene stopped and backed up to show the image again before continuing to pan. My son let out a loud, "Woo-hoo." Oh, dear.


Peace