17 June 2010

Fathers' Day

I have posted about my dad before here, but considering that Sunday is Fathers' Day I thought I should post again about my dad and expand on what he has meant to me as a man and as a father.

In short, my Dad is the finest man I have ever known.  He possesses the rare double gifts of both wisdom and intelligence.  I have known a lot of smart people without a lick of wisdom and a lot of "uneducated" people who had more sense then a room full of Harvard dons.  My Dad has both.  I always knew he was smart, but it only in growing older and becoming a father myself have I realized how wise he is. 

My dad worked the bulk of his career at IBM.  He never talked about his job.  I tried to ask him from time to time about his work, but he would never tell me much more than that he was a programmer.  Like all jobs do to all men, it left him drained at the end of the day.  I remembering him coming home every day, kissing his wife, going up stairs to change, and then coming back down stairs to watch a bit of news or MASH while dinner was being finished up.  His job never seemed to consume him, I never remember him putting his job before us.  I would like to think that he was not one who lived to work, but rather he worked to live and to provide for his family.  I always figured that was why he didn't talk about his work at home, because his home and family was what he really cared about and why bring work to the dinner table?

My dad imparted to me a love of World War II movies and westerns.  Movies on TBS were my first education in American history.  Later he would indulge my growing interest in movies by taking me to see countless movies including the first Star Trek movie and the Star Wars trilogy.  I never knew what he thought of the movies, but I remember his quiet presence beside me.  I hope I thanked him for all the movies.  If I didn't, well, that is what this is for: thanks Pop.   

Later, when I became obsessed with space, he and Mom took me to Huntsville, Alabama.  Then it was every historical site on the way to family in Missouri and Virginia. 

As I said in my previous post, one of the greatest things he gave me was a sense of security.  If we ever had money problems (and I seriously doubt it) then I was never aware of it.  My Dad is both wonderfully generous and very careful with his money.  It is a great comfort to me that my Dad has planned his retirement so well that I don't have to worry about him and Mom needing to move into the basement.  Indeed, it is a great joy to see them both able to travel, and give, and enjoy retirement without financial worry.   All of those washed-out ziploc bags, hand-washed plastic wear, and extra-chunky powdered milks paid off.   

We always had everything we needed and more.  Christmas never left me wanting more (and still doesn't). 

When my mother was in the hospital several years ago for an extended near-death experience, my father was a paragon of all things a husband should be.  He took care of my Mom better than any nurse or doctor could.  He looked out for her and gently challenged the care she was being given.  When "gently" didn't work, he was strong and insistent for her.  Despite his own suffering, he was the anchor for us all.  He gave forgiveness and compassion to the surgeon responsible for the mistake that almost killed his wife even when it will still unsure if she would make it.  It was nearly impossible to pry him from his wife's side to get home for some rest, for who could take care of her better than him?  Indeed, I know I always felt better about things when he was there.  I still do.

He remains the strongest and hardest-working man I know.  He does what he does quietly and without complaint. 

There is much more I could and probably should say, but I hope this is enough to show my appreciation and love for Pop.


Peace
..._

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