Name Tags

A couple of weeks ago I considered writing about nametags. I am not sure what prompted the thought, but I realized that I had never had a job that required a nametag. I have had many different jobs in my life, and I once had a job that required a security badge, but never one that required a nametag. While growing up, I had always looked a little jealously at my friends' nametags. They came with pin-on stars for years of service or stickers for good service or ribbons for excellence or buttons for random atta-boys. Recently, I grew proud and even a little vain about the fact that I had never held a nametag job. I began to look down on nametag wearers in general. I thought, "There but for the grace of God go I."

Today, I got my nametag. It has the name of my school, my name, and the fact that I am "HS Faculty" engraved in black lettering on a gold surface. It attaches to my shirt with three silver magnets. On the back is a warning, "Caution-Magnet Device: Do not use with a pacemaker."

I could be more accepting of this fate if it were a true ID badge, but anyone could put this on and pass themselves off as "HS Faculty". The students were merciless all day. "So, you work at a hotel now?" "Are you on the hospitality committee at your church?" "Yes, I would like fries with that." I think I could even embrace it if I knew that nifty nametag accessories are just down the road. A "Teacher of the Year" medallion would look quite spiffy suspended from the bottom of the nametag. Alas, no such perks will follow.

I suppose I deserve it. My arrogance and hubris have been pulled out of my heart by three powerful magnets.

If anyone asks, I will be at the cardiologist. I wonder how much a pacemaker would cost?