Encounters with Santa, Part Two

I grew up a firm believer... in Santa. When other friends had cast him aside or backslide into a lazy agnosticism, I still believed. Even when the evidence began to pile up against his existence, I felt that the evidence for was just too strong. Every time I aired my doubts to my parents, they had a scientific explanation. For example, after seeing Santa in two different malls, I asked, "How can Santa be in so many malls at the same time?" The answer was quick and decisive, "Santa is a very busy man so he hires helpers who report their findings back to him." I was fully satisfied in this answer. Here are a couple of incidents that re-affirmed my faith:

The first proof: One year, I don't remember which one, we were going to go to Missouri for Christmas to be with my mom's family. I was excited about that, but concerned about our own traditional family Christmas. We had no tree so we put red balls on a two foot tall evergreen houseplant. I have a vivid memory of sitting at the couch and looking wistfully at the only reminder of Christmas in our home. Even that small thing was enough to bring me joy. I wondered though, how would Santa know where to find us? Looking back, I am sure my parents were wondering how they would haul all of our presents all the way to Missouri and then all of the way back home.

The solution came on a Sunday. My dad did not come to mass with us that day. When we returned, we entered the house to a terrible racket. There was a loud banging and yelling coming from the basement. My dad was locked in the basement! He said that he had been waylaid by Santa, forced into the basement at gift point and locked in! We entered the living room, and there was the full spread of Christmas. According to my dad, Santa knew that we were going to Missouri and had come early to drop off our gifts. Truly, proof that Santa is omniscient. Some in my family have wondered why dad didn't just go out of the basement by the exterior door and use the key hidden in the garage and have brought up the fact that it is a simple matter to lock one's self in the basement. They are unreasonable skeptics. Clearly, Santa intended dad to stay in basement until the family returned and honored Santa's wishes by remaining obediently in the basement. I admire his sacrifice.

The second proof: We always left Santa a drink and some sugar cookies. He always consumed the offering and left a thank you note. I always thought that it was really cool that Santa's handwriting looked a lot like my mom's. Why was this sugar sacrifice such a strong proof? Well, my parents were and continue to be obsessive about cleaning. When we go over to their house for dinner, you have to watch your drink glass. If you leave it unattended for more than 120 seconds, it will be confiscated, washed, dried, and returned to cabinet, where you will have to retrieve it and refill it. Santa was a messy eater and always left a scattering of crumbs and a few leftovers. I reasoned that if my parents were Santa, then they would have wiped up the crumbs, put the dish in the dishwasher, and put the leftovers in a Ziploc. My parents could have never slept in a house with dirty dishes in it. The skeptics again answer this incontrovertible proof with the postulation that my dad, who always had to go downstairs before anyone else on Christmas morning to "check on things", could have easily made a quick mess and scribbled a quick note. A silly argument considering the basic fact that my father never ate anything in the morning before his bowl of Post Raisin Bran.

I must go and make arrangements for our broken car(s).

Peace