31 May 2007

Jury Duty vs Post-Planning

This week is teacher post-planning. In theory, teachers are supposed to meet to review what went right and wrong during the past year and to begin planning for the next year. In practice, it means a few short days of cleaning your room, tying up loose ends, and long lunches. I have missed most of this years' post-planning due to jury duty. I have mixed feelings about this. I am thrilled to have jury duty (I teach government and now I can speak from direct experience about jury service), and I actually got on a jury today (guilty on both counts), but this is my last year at this school. I have been there since January 2001, and I hoped to spend this week saying goodbye. While my jury (yes, my jury--I was foreman) debate how many flails of the arm constitutes resisting arrest, the faculty was putting on a farewell luncheon for the three teachers leaving. I missed my own farewell lunch.

Tomorrow is the last day of post-planning, and I will be at school. The administration will give us a free lunch (the one thing they are truly good at), and then I will move on. I expect it to be a very anti-climatic ending to a very difficult year.

I hate change.

Peace

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26 May 2007

Best Excuse Note of the Year

Last night was graduation, and while the graduates were getting their diplomas, I remembered getting this e-mail from one of them early this semester:

hi, its susie student. so here's a kind of funny story... so i walk into a nail place after cheerleading practice today because i want to get my nails done for this weekend and i bring in this little folder/organizer dealfor all my hw. it just so happened to have all my homework both for tomorrow and for this weekend, completed- i might add. all of the sudden this very intimidating vietnamese woman walks up to me and tells me to pick out the color i want and walk back to her little station. long story short-after she scared me death and spent 10 minutes trying to talk to me in someother language, i left my homework folder in the nail place and the hw for your class was in it. i have already finished the homework due friday and for next tuesday- if u need any proof u can ask bob who sat next to me in study hall making fun of me for being diligent and told me to stop probably 6 times. i know you don't accept late work on little homework assignments but i would love if it you had mercy on me for this first one. i don't intend and plan not to have any more issues like this but for this once, out of the kindness of your heart, would you please consider giving me some credit for it? i'm pretty sure that nail place opens at 10 so i can have my homework to you by 10:15 if they didn't throw it away. if not, i may face my first 0 in the history of my schooling (which would be fair, i know, i'm just bummed). anyway, have a great night and i hope you and your family are doing well!

She is one of the most diligent students I have ever had and had been really sick all semester so I marked her down for a late grade and gave her full credit for making me laugh.

Peace
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12 May 2007

Georgia Carnival: Edition Nine is Up

The ninth edition of the Georgia Carnival is up here. Read and enjoy.

In other news, I had my first mosquito bite of the season last night.

Peace
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06 May 2007

Monday Miscellany: Bears, Monkeys, and POE

Next year I will be teaching at a new school. I am going to be teaching at the arch-rival of my present school. When I informed my current students of my move, they felt betrayed so I told them that I was going undercover in order flunk all of their star athletes. They know I am lying, but it made them feel better anyway. A couple of my tenth graders went to Build-A-Bear and made a mini-me:

Build a Me

If you know me, then you know they got it right.


If you go to Flickr and look at the picture more closely, you will see that in the background just above the Bear's right shoulder is a stuffed monkey. Clearly, I have a long history of unusual gifts (and look here). The monkey came to me about five years ago.

Here is the story of the monkey: I have always struggled in creating tests for my AP (advanced placement) classes. Genuine AP multiple-choice questions are well-written, extremely challenging, and the College Board has only released a limited number of their questions. I use as many of their questions as I can on my tests, but there are never nearly enough for a complete test. Strangely, most of the other standard sources for multiple-choice questions (like the textbook's test bank) are actually either poorly written or contain only four choices. The College Board uses five choice multiple-choice questions. On the rare occasions when I have been able to use one of the test bank questions, I have had to add a fifth answer. The structure of the question often makes it challenging to write an appropriate fifth answer.

One late, test-writing night about six years ago I began adding "creative" fifth answers to the questions. Some of them were lame, cultural references (usually relating to Britney Spears), but the bulk of them developed into a story concerning the attempts of a species of super-intelligent subterranean monkeys to take over the world. They were such great hits, I began adding punch lines to most of my tests. The students end up much more relaxed, and they tend to read all of the answers much more clearly. So my students got me a monkey at the end of the year. Since then my AP classes have passed the monkey around for luck before every test (there is a pun there about monkeying around--but I shall spare you). Here are some samples in a neat little quiz (answer in the comments if you wish, but no cheating):

1. The Whigs in 1840
a. Feared splitting their party and hence had no platform
b. Nominated Winfield Scott for president
c. Campaigned for a program similar to Clay’s American System
d. Tried to play down their candidate's war record
e. Advocated the violent overthrow of the US government and the institution of government by monkey

2. As part of the “Great Biological Exchange,” Europeans brought to the New World
A. A horde of subterranean monkeys hidden in the hold of a supply vessel
B. Tomatoes
C. Peanuts
D. Olives
E. Tobacco

3. The cotton gin was invented
a. By James Watt
b. By John Kay
c. In the 1790’s
d. In the 1830’s
e. By 1,000 monkeys typing away at 1,000 typewriters for a thousand years

4. In the Webster-Hayne Debate, Daniel Webster argued that
a. Each section of the country had to stand up and fight, if necessary, for its rights
b. States had the right to nullify national laws
c. The Union was made up of sovereign states
d. Final jurisdiction on all questions of constitutionality rested in the nation’s Supreme Court
e. Robert Hayne was a “big-poopie head that is not allowed to pick his nose without the permission of the Federal government.”

5. The Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution
A. outlawed slavery.
B. guaranteed citizens the equal protection of the laws.
C. specifically gave the former slaves the right to vote.
D. ended Reconstruction in the South.
E. gave all Monkeys the right to “a free and unimpeded flow of bananas”

Not my best questions, but you get the idea.


I watched the movie The Day After today. Do any of you remember this 1983 made for TV movie about the consequences of a full-scale nuclear war on a community in Kansas? I think I remember seeing it in 8th or 9th grade and being scared out of my mind. The reason I ask is that AP exams are this week, and we usually take it easy after the exam so I am thinking about a unit on the Cold War through film. Here is my potential list: Dr. Strangelove, War Games, and Red Dawn. None of them are brilliant (with the possible exception of Dr. Strangelove--but I love Peter Sellers) but The Day After (1983), War Games (1983), and Red Dawn (1984) were made during a two-year stretch near the beginning of Reagan's presidency. Why could that be? I probably only have time for three films. Any suggestions?


Peace

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03 May 2007

Modern Day Primitive Rituals: Giddy in Misery

I went to the store while my daughter was at dance to get some Cheerios and formula for the babies. The twins (at eight and a half months now) are at the Cheerios stage in their development. I suppose each stage of a child's life has its good and bad. With the Cheerios stage, one can only delight in watching as a baby struggles to grasp, raise, and chew his own food. Later of course, one must pry the soggy almost-eaten Cheerios off of his clothes, chair, and body. Hours after that, one can only shrug as you find him eating a Cheerio that he has mysteriously produced from some magical, Cheerios hiding place on his body. They will continue to fall out for the next several days, and there is always one or two in his diaper.

But I digress, I was at the store pondering my choices: Multi-Grain Cheerios, Frosted Cheerios, Honey-Nut Cheerios, Yogurt-Burst Cheerios (Strawberry), Yogurt-Burst Cheerios (Vanilla), Berry-Burst Cheerios, Fruity Cheerios, Apple Cinnamon Cheerios, and the generic Happy-Os when I noticed a young lady marching down the aisle with a determined gait. It was clear that she knew exactly where she was going and what she was getting. She was talking on her cell-phone, and I could not help but overhear her as she approached, "They broke up...Yes, they just broke up....I am getting the cookies and milk now if you would take care of the movies." She grabbed a package of Oreos off of the shelf without breaking stride and took a left turn towards the milk. She picked up the pace and her voice seemed to be gaining an edge of insane giddiness to it, "I just love this ritual."

Ritual? I wanted to hear more, but from that short snippet of overheard conversation, an entire story had leapt into my head. I picked-up the Happy-Os and absent-mindedly picked up a package of Oreos in amusement. A few minutes later, I found myself at the self-check out next to her as she purchased a gallon of milk and the package of Oreos. She must have been talking to someone new for the story was same but with added details. Apparently the break up had been expected with anticipation for some time, and the planning for the pity-party was in full swing, "They just broke up. They had a big fight this morning so I bought some magazines, now I am getting the cookies and milk. Yeah. They just broke up. Can you get the movies?" Then she was gone.

As I write this hours later, I figure that by this time they must have made quite a dent in the Oreos and Milk and read quite a few articles in all those magazines about taming that tummy. Surely, he has called several times, and her friends have told her not to take it. Eventually, my guess is, she shall take the phone call because of a short, but very sweet text message, and six hours later they will be back together again; the party will end. Some day in the future, maybe next weekend or maybe next month, she will need another Friday night with her friends, and she will pick a fight and the ritual will be set in motion again. Misery loves cookies (or ice cream).

My Oreos, on the other hand, will be going to school with me tomorrow to be presented to the winner of the Second Page Club.


Peace

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