Tray Mountain, Part II:
It's Only the Wind
They set off for the shelter, racing to beat the failing light. At last they reached the side trail leading off to the shelter. But upon consulting the map, Larry was convinced that they should press on in search of a better campsite despite the imminent darkness. They hurried down the trail in search of a campsite out of the roaring wind. After much fruitless marching, they were no closer to a campsite then they had been an hour earlier. Larry then demanded, in violation of all trail guides and plain common sense, on leaving the trail in search of a campsite. So they consulted the map and plunged down a near vertical slope and made camp. It was here that the astute MacManus found the first disturbing evidence of bear infestation. On the ground was a mangled Vienna Sausage can with obvious large teeth marks on it. By carefully measuring the marks, MacManus estimated that, “They were the marks of a three hundred pound, five and half foot male grizzly with a slight overbite.” Nearby were several small trees that appeared to have been pushed over by a large animal. In their exhaustion, however, they were unwilling to search out a safer campsite. MacManus struggled to build a small fire, the smoke of which blew in every direction, depending on where MacManus was sitting.
With the sun going down, the temperature soon followed. Above them, clouds sped across a nearly full moon at incredible speeds, casting a surreal pall across the mountain. With the cold and the wind, they decided to turn in about 7:00pm. Sleep was evasive for the two, and time dragged on at a painfully slow pace. Both longed for the dawn and a new day. At approximately 9:30pm MacManus woke up and asked Larry what time it was. Larry responded that it was 9:30 in the morning. MacManus responded that Larry was stoned and tried to go back to sleep.
Outside of their tent, unknown to them, a three hundred and twenty-five pound, five foot and nine inch grizzly bear was on the prowl, stirred to hunt his favorite prey, the ever-elusive Vienna Sausage. Larry woke up with a start. It sounded like a three hundred pound, six foot grizzly bear was sniffing his forehead. MacManus came out of a half-sleep to the sound of a four hundred pound, six and a half foot grizzly sniffing around the base of the tent. Larry exclaimed, “There was a four hundred and twenty-five pound grizzly sniffing my forehead!” Both men’s hearts pounded with fear, adrenalin flowing freely into their veins. Larry grew hysterical and was on the verge of shouting, “You can have our Vienna Sausages, just let me keep my map!” when the cool-headed calmed Larry with a lie, “It’s only the wind.” Larry went back to sleep, but MacManus could not, knowing the danger they were both. He was determined to stay awake and on guard.
The four hundred and fifty pound grizzly returned often during the long night, undoubtedly attracted by the seeming mating call that Larry’s snore resembled. MacManus remained awake though it all. At around four in the morning, he knew that the final confrontation was coming. The snore of the slumbering Larry rattled the tent pegs, the sniffing of the bear grew nearer, and the pressure on his bladder grew to superhuman proportions. Having waited as long as he could, necessity conquered fear and MacManus exited the tent. Towering a full seven feet above his was five hundred pounds of hungry grizzly. Grabbing a can of Vienna Sausages, MacManus used a sock as a sling and flung the Sausages at the five hundred and fifty pound grizzly. He missed wildly and the Vienna Sausages rolled down the mountain. The six hundred pound grizzly, sensing his favorite food, lumbered after the can. The can flew off of a cliff with the six hundred and fifty pound grizzly behind it, its paws flailing wildly in the air. MacManus was then much relieved and went back into the tent where a sleeping Larry snored on.
The next day, Rangers found the body of an eight foot, seven hundred pound grizzly at the base of the cliff. The can of Vienna Sausages was unharmed and proved a hearty midday snack for the Rangers. MacManus never told Larry of the grave danger they both faced that night, undoubtedly his innate humility at work, unwilling to boast of this own bravery or reveal the horror which is Larry’s snore.
With the sun going down, the temperature soon followed. Above them, clouds sped across a nearly full moon at incredible speeds, casting a surreal pall across the mountain. With the cold and the wind, they decided to turn in about 7:00pm. Sleep was evasive for the two, and time dragged on at a painfully slow pace. Both longed for the dawn and a new day. At approximately 9:30pm MacManus woke up and asked Larry what time it was. Larry responded that it was 9:30 in the morning. MacManus responded that Larry was stoned and tried to go back to sleep.
Outside of their tent, unknown to them, a three hundred and twenty-five pound, five foot and nine inch grizzly bear was on the prowl, stirred to hunt his favorite prey, the ever-elusive Vienna Sausage. Larry woke up with a start. It sounded like a three hundred pound, six foot grizzly bear was sniffing his forehead. MacManus came out of a half-sleep to the sound of a four hundred pound, six and a half foot grizzly sniffing around the base of the tent. Larry exclaimed, “There was a four hundred and twenty-five pound grizzly sniffing my forehead!” Both men’s hearts pounded with fear, adrenalin flowing freely into their veins. Larry grew hysterical and was on the verge of shouting, “You can have our Vienna Sausages, just let me keep my map!” when the cool-headed calmed Larry with a lie, “It’s only the wind.” Larry went back to sleep, but MacManus could not, knowing the danger they were both. He was determined to stay awake and on guard.
The four hundred and fifty pound grizzly returned often during the long night, undoubtedly attracted by the seeming mating call that Larry’s snore resembled. MacManus remained awake though it all. At around four in the morning, he knew that the final confrontation was coming. The snore of the slumbering Larry rattled the tent pegs, the sniffing of the bear grew nearer, and the pressure on his bladder grew to superhuman proportions. Having waited as long as he could, necessity conquered fear and MacManus exited the tent. Towering a full seven feet above his was five hundred pounds of hungry grizzly. Grabbing a can of Vienna Sausages, MacManus used a sock as a sling and flung the Sausages at the five hundred and fifty pound grizzly. He missed wildly and the Vienna Sausages rolled down the mountain. The six hundred pound grizzly, sensing his favorite food, lumbered after the can. The can flew off of a cliff with the six hundred and fifty pound grizzly behind it, its paws flailing wildly in the air. MacManus was then much relieved and went back into the tent where a sleeping Larry snored on.
The next day, Rangers found the body of an eight foot, seven hundred pound grizzly at the base of the cliff. The can of Vienna Sausages was unharmed and proved a hearty midday snack for the Rangers. MacManus never told Larry of the grave danger they both faced that night, undoubtedly his innate humility at work, unwilling to boast of this own bravery or reveal the horror which is Larry’s snore.
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