A Taste for the Absurd

Behind me I hear a clunk. I turn and look into the living room. P (4 year old boy) is walking down the hall with a large, dull, wet stain around his mouth. I look to see from where he has come. My wife's glass of Coca-Cola is sitting empty on the piano bench. "P!" I say. He immediately replies (it has been his knee-jerk reaction when he hears that particular tone of voice for the past year or so) "E (2 year old girl) did it!" Now he has compounded drinking something that he knew he wasn't supposed to with lying. Great. I take him to his room. We sit on his bed. He burps. A slow, gurgly, sweet burp. His lips are still wet with Coca-Cola. He continues to deny wrongdoing. At last, I get him to confess.
"Why did you drink momma's drink?"
Shrug.
"Did you like it?"
"Yeah."
Secretly, I am pleased. My boy likes Coca-Cola. I had hoped and planned for this day. It was supposed to take place under more controlled circumstances. It was to be one of those first steps on the road to manhood, shared between men. The first real Coca-Cola. I wonder how many other times he has surreptitiously stolen a swig. I wonder how much he drank. We are on our way to a big party and I wonder what may happen there.

Later.

The wife and I later estimate that P went to the restroom six times in four hours at the party. I took him on his last trip. He was giddy. I knew any Coca-Cola he may have consumed must have worn off by now. Was he just tired? Alcohol was served at the party, including Sangria, which looks a lot like fruit punch. Did he get into something he wasn’t supposed to? I interrogated him as he finished using the facilities.
“P, what have you had to drink tonight?”
“`rite” (Sprite) he says, beginning to laugh.
“What else have you had to drink tonight?”
“Wipes!” he says, beginning to laugh hysterically at his own joke.
“Wipes? What else have you had to drink tonight?”
“Your nose!” he says, now doubled up in laughter.
My boy has a taste for the absurd.

Getting into the car to leave, P says with feeling, “That was a fun party.”
That it was.

Peace