I have waited for this moment for ten years. I finally received notification that a distant relative of mine (James Whitehurst) working for an oil company in Nigeria has died and left $9.5 million in an account in Lagos. A lawyer named David Thomas has contacted me and assured me that it is a simple and legal procedure to transfer the money into my account: "All I require from you is your honest cooperation to enable us see this transaction through and I guarantee that this will be executed under legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law." I can't believe that he has been looking for me for so long. This is too good to be true!
I have to work fast because according to the e-mail I received, "The said Bank has issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated within the next (60) thirty official working days". I am guessing the problem with the number of days relates to a translation problem. I have wired him my bank account information, and in a few days I will be looking pretty good you losers!!! That's right. I'm going to be a millionaire and will have no need for any of you jerks now. I have already burned my bridges at work and turned in my resignation! Let's just say that I have no chance of slaving away in Christian education ever again! You will hear my laughing all the way to the Nigerian bank!
No, I will not loan or give any of you money. Don't even think about asking for my help.
Jerks
UPDATE
Okay. The funds in my account are not enough to free up the Nigerian funds. David Thomas has assured me that only a few thousand dollars more stand between me and millions. I will be willing to share some of the windfall to anyone who wants to front me the money. I was just kidding about the "losers" and "jerks" thing. Let me know if you want to help out, and I will let you know where to send your financial information. E-mail David Thomas at nigerianbankscam@gullybullgreedeeamericans.com. I love you guys. Does anyone have an leads on jobs?
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